It's a Dog's Life

Running, Eating and Joe Paterno

2012-01-22T16:02:00.000-08:00

Today has been a struggle. My preference would have been to curl up with a bowl of Captain Crunch and a side of hot cocoa. I needed a long run, but the rain and wind made me contemplate the treadmill. But the thought of more than 2 hours of hamster running made me cringe. Truly, if I didn’t have a marathon planned, I would have bagged the whole thing. My inner child just wanted to eat candy, curl up in a fetal position and let the world pass by for a while.

With plenty of encouragement I headed out for 14 miles. I told the hubs how long I would be gone and that my planned route was up on the computer monitor. (For safety, I always give him an idea of where I go on long runs.) Three miles in, I made a pit stop and texted the hubs that I was changing my route to something I could cut short if needed. My right Achilles was really bothering me and I felt completely defeated. I even turned on my mp3 player to see if music would help kick my attitude.

The music began to help and I turned a corner which would lead me farter from home instead of closer. I walked a lot. I moaned and complained to myself. I couldn’t understand the extent of the pure defeat I felt. I hated running and began to think it wasn’t worth it. Maybe I should quit and take up walking. Then To Fly by Day of Fire played.

I can see it in your eyes
You were made to overcome
I can see it in your eyes
You were made to rise above
I can see it in your eyes
So take these wings and fly

Something clicked in my psyche. I was angry. I was sad. I had seen the news earlier in the morning…just before the urge to eat comfort foods and curl up in a ball. Joe Paterno was dead. I was not grieving his death. I was grieving for the unnecessary victims. I was sad that they would not have the answers they needed. I was angry that Joe Paterno would not answer to all the children that were violated due to his inaction.

In my years of counseling, I had been warned that there would be things that would trigger memories and anger and grief. Things that would have no connection to me and my experiences. You see, I am an unnecessary victim. My violation may not have happened if an adult had taken action. Words were said and adults were aware, but nothing was done. I wonder how many other victims there are that have said nothing. I wonder how many were molested after me. I wonder if I had said something years earlier could I have saved another victim. I was a child. I was afraid. Others were adults. They were in a place to protect children. Yet their inaction caused great hurt and damage.

I believe in Heaven. I believe in Hell. I don’t know where Joe Paterno went. I don’t know where the man that molested me went. Only God knows. And that is His responsibility. My responsibility is to speak up against wrong. It is my responsibility to feel the anger and sadness and respond to it appropriately. The rest is up to God. I am happy to let Him be the final judge.

Once I realize the cause of my attitude, I can accept it. I railed at God for a bit and my eyes brimmed with tears. Then I let Him have all. My anger, my grief was gone. They will return from time to time. They are a part of me. I am who I am because of all of my experiences.

The remainder of the run was not suddenly wonderful and amazing. I could only wish. It was painful and tedious. Yet, it wasn’t so bad anymore. I can deal with the aching muscles. I can deal with the fatigue. When my mind is clear, I can take these wings and fly!

It's a first so have FUN!

2012-01-04T12:23:00.000-08:00

The last couple of days I have been asked about running a first half marathon. I started to write back and thought, "Hey, just blog about it!" So here is my advice...take it or leave it!

THe half marathon is long enough to be a good challenge, but sort enough to really have some fun. And your first half should be all bout finishing with a smile on your face. If you are ~~crazy~~ dedicated enough to run more, then look at other goals.

1. Unless you have been running a while and have some speedwork under your belt, don't start while you are increasing mileage! You may throw in a few fartleks here and there, but nothing serious.

2. Increase the distance of one run each week slowly. Try adding a mile a week for a couple of weeks, then do a shorter run the third week. Bring up the miles the next week and continue the pattern. Many plans call to do at least one long run of 10 miles before the half.

3. Listen to your body! This is a MUST! If you are tired or hurt, REST! Rest is a very improtant part of training. Your muscles cannot adapt to the greater strain, if they are not allowed to recover. Learn your own signals and pay attention. For me: When my knees hurt, I probably need new shoes. If my hips hurt, I need some extra stretching. If I dont' feel like running--because I LOVE to run--I need a day off to rest.

4. Reward yourself. When you get out there and train when life gets tough, give yourself a pat on the back! When you reach a goal, enjoy a new toy--maybe running gear or new music to listen to while you run. Others are going to tell you that you are going to hurt yourself or running is bad for you, let them talk and move on. Running is healthy and when listening to your body, you can run for years to come. Studies show runners have decreased incidence of arthritis in the knees than non-runners.

5. Those long runs, run slow. If you think you are running too slow, you aren't! Running slow allows your body to get used to spending time on your feet. Running the long runs too fast will increase recovery time and increase the chance of injury.

6. If you are feeling ambitious and you have no signs of injury or over-training, throw in a few fartleks on your easy run. Runner's World has an article here that discusses a couple of ways to incorporate speedplay. Keep it faster, but don't go all out.

7. Ahhh, training diet... This is a do what I say, not what I do item. Running uses carbohydrates stored in the muscles. You will need to eat carbs, but try to make sure they are healthy carbs--fruits, veggies, whole grains. (This becomes a different story a few days before your race!) I confess that I am as addicted to sugar as I am to running. I have to remind myself that quick carbs do not provide the long term energy I need to run or give my body the proper fuel to recover. I am a work in progress on this one.

There are so many things that can change as you train for your first half marathon. That is part of the fun! Learning to adapt and get to the start line trained and healthy is a balancing act. Yet it can be done. Just remember, you would rather be a little undertrained than overtrained.

Operation Jack NW

2011-12-31T15:07:00.000-08:00

Monday, December 26th, began cold and foggy, but without rain. With the race site just a few minutes from home, it was a relaxed morning. My most important plan for the day was to remain relaxed. I tend to hyper focus on races and this leads to anxiety…and, as any runner knows, anxiety leads to GI issues. Having had my share of those issues, I really wanted a day with as few pit stops as possible. Rising early enough to enjoy a bowl of oatmeal led to a bit of time to check in of Facebook and Twitter—all about staying relaxed, you understand! The time came to wake the hubs for my ride to Summer lake Park. We arrived 30 minutes before start time and he gave me a good luck kiss before heading off to somewhere warm!

I was able to set up my things in the covered area and meet several runners, including a couple more Pdx Running Chicks! A couple of minutes before 8:00 am, the rules were given by race director Steve Walters. And then it was time to move. A total of 41 runners had entered planning to run any number of laps. Two new friends were running a half and another was doing a supported long run for 16-18 miles. I was going the full 6 hours with an eye at a 50k. The course was a 0.95 mile loop around a small park with a pond and bridges, a very enjoyable place to run with asphalt and some concrete sidewalk.

The first 3 laps were hard. The start is always hard for me. It takes time to warm up and with the cold, achy muscles; I begin to wonder if I can accomplish the task before me. After the third lap, I took off a layer and started to really get into the groove. My Garmin beeped at me every 12 minutes. I would walk 1-2 minutes and then run to the next beep. Many others were doing the same, but a few were flying on by me. I love watching faster runners and this was a great course to see them often! I ran by myself much of the time, but enjoyed those laps with others. Time was flying by and I was feeling great! I kept reminding myself there was lots of time left and keep the pace really easy.

Somewhere around 17 miles, my sister-in-law and her family came to cheer. I had been smiling all along, but that sure perked my spirits even higher. Jen came dressed to join me for a few laps. We don’t get to run together often so the company and the conversation were great. She walked when I walked and ran when I ran. Each time we completed a loop, the kids and her husband were cheering. Then hubs showed up, too, with both dogs. Of course, Indy saw me running and had one thought—mom’s running so I get to run. I put the running leash around my waist and he began to pull me along.

Close to noon, I needed to walk a little more and was starting to “feel” my legs. Jen and I walked a bit more of the last lap that she was with me. Then she and her family were off to visit family and hubs took the dog and headed out to return at 1:30 to watch me finish up. A couple of laps later, I was hurting. My right ITB was cramping enough that it would catch and I couldn’t run. Toward the end of the lap, it would catch and nearly give out and the left ITB was starting to cramp, too. I remember looking at the time—12:20. I ran through a variety of scenarios in my mind. Was it too cold on my legs? Did I need some fuel that I wasn’t getting? How was I going to get this stopped to keep moving? The goal was to keep moving 6 hours. Forward progress.

Arriving at the aid station, I told a friend that I was struggling. Rose reminded me that cramps were either fatigue or lack of salt. I really needed that bit of reassurance. I put on some fleece pants, ate some potato chips and headed out to walk a lap. During that lap, I walked, I stretched, I walked some more. Arriving back at the aid station a full 17 minutes later, I was feeling a little better. Some pretzels and a salt tab and I headed back out for another lap. At that point, I knew I could finish. It may mean walking the rest, but I would finish. The 50k had slipped through my fingers, but that B goal was waiting for me!

My mom would have been proud of the walking I did! I didn’t saunter. I bent my arms into 90 degrees and I put one foot in front of the other as fast as I could. And I smiled. The smile was more than just a mind game to bring up my spirits. I was happy. I was excited. I was going to accomplish my goal—even if it killed me—which I knew it wouldn’t. I tried running a couple of times, but man it hurt. And I was walking faster than the run. So I just kept walking. Seven laps. I walked 7 laps with the last 4 at a 14:00 pace.

Jeff arrived near the end and walked the last lap with me. I loved that. And when I crossed the finish line on my last lap, my sister was there, too! I may be a bit obsessive with my running—okay, fine, I AM obsessive—but my family is so supportive. Jeff doesn’t even begin to understand my passion for running, but he was there at the beginning, middle and end. He won’t say it (as that might mean he doesn’t think it is insane), but he is proud of me and happy that I have something I enjoy so much.

Overall, I am very happy at my first technical ultra. No, that 50k did not happen. It was a good goal, difficult, but attainable. I truly believe if my legs had held up s bit longer, I could have made it. However, that B goal was attained. I did keep moving the entire time and completed great than marathon distance. So, yes, it is an ultra. But I can not call myself an ultra marathoner just yet. I will. In time. That ultra is out there. Maybe next fall at Autumn Leaves. Maybe another time. It is coming. I can feel it in the not so far future.

Ninja Runner!

My awesome sister-in-law, Jen.

Crawling to the finish...the hardest part of this photo was getting back up!

Official Stats:

Distance: 27.55 miles

Time: 5:52:50

Overall: 11/41

Gender: 4/19

Garmin Stats:

Distance: 27.84 miles

Time: 5:52:47

Nearly Here...

2011-12-21T11:34:00.000-08:00

Yes, Christmas is close, but so is my first 6 hour race!

I do love Christmas, but will not see any of my family so I am not super excited about it. I love my in-laws and the big party was last Saturday with a smaller get together on Friday evening. Yet there is nothing like being with my siblings who know everything about me and still love me. Those traditions of opening gifts on Christmas Eve while saving the stockings for Christmas morning. Oh, the fun of stockings! Mom loved to find the most unusual little things to throw in to add to the laughs. Christmas is not the same without her...

Okay, on to the race... Monday morning, December 26th, at 8 am it will start. Six hours around a .95 mile loop. Fortunately, it is a pretty little loop and I will get to see the other runners often! (And there is an actual toilet at the aid station!) My training is a little haphazard as I just signed up and only had 2 runs over 3 hours. Those two runs I practiced a run walk technique. The first was an 8:2 ratio and the second was a 9:1. Both worked well, but I am leaning toward a 10:2. Eight minutes of running ends so quick as does only 1 minute of walking. Of course, as I tire, anything goes to keep moving. I did discover that walking was almost harder late in the 4 hour run.

Then there is the fueling...one of my biggest struggles. PB & J is okay early, but is unsettling later. Plain old white dinner rolls work throughout. Bananas worked wonderfully and a boiled egg with lots of salt was delicious! Nuun is the best for keeping my stomach happy and the trips to the bathroom at bay. My goal will be to eat and drink. If my stomach goes sour, hopefully, it will be very late in the race... Otherwise, I will keep working at it and moving along.

I really do believe, that if all goes well, I can do a full 50k. That is definitely my A Goal. Other than that is getting to the marathon distance. If everything goes poorly, I just want to keep moving for the whole 6 hours. For the next few days, my biggest goal is to stay calm and not let the race nerves get me! That is truly my biggest downfall!.

If you happen to be in Tigard near Summerlake park next Monday, stop by and offer some encouragement or even run a couple of laps! The fun is almost here!

Did I really just do that?!

2011-12-01T10:40:00.000-08:00

I did it. I registered for my first Ultra...or it may be an ultra... It is Operation Jack Northwest Run. Six hours on a 0.95 mile loop. The great part is the park is a couple of miles from my house and I run there often. The thing is it is December 26th, yes, a mere 3 1/2 weeks away... And, uh, yeah, my longest run this year is 16 miles and that was last spring...I think I may be crazy... Fortunately, I have added a lot of cross training the last couple of months. So even though my mileage is in the low 30s, I am in pretty good shape for endurance.

An ultra is on my bucket list. I was thinking in a year or two, but this one will work. My A goal is to hit 50k. That is a pretty aggressive goal since I haven't been training, but I think it is doable. Other than that I will shoot for a marathon and a C goal of moving the entire 6 hours.

Excuse me, I need to go work out...NOW!

Live with Gratitude

2011-11-24T12:43:00.000-08:00

Live today with thanksgiving. Not because it is a holiday, but rather as an extension of every day life. I am no more thankful for my blessings today than I am any other day. Everything I hold dear can be gonein the blink of an eye. I dare not hold back my gratitude for a single day. If I do I may miss the simple act of treasuring those gifts. Giving thanks everyday is a reminder to hold close to the true blessings and letting the rest go. Today many will gather round the table and give thanks. May we remember to take that spirit and carry it through every day of our lives.

Sweat Your Thorns Off 5k

2011-06-27T10:55:00.000-07:00

Thanks to The Boring Runner, I tortured myself with another race. Not so long ago I swore off racing, but a virtual race would be better right?

Indiana Jones & I are ready to head out complete with race bib!

Since I had no thorns, I figured I should at least sweat so I waited until later in the day to head out. Of course, due to my scattered brain, I started even later than planned... Got in the car with my favorite four pawed pacing partner (i.e. dog) and did a couple of errands before heading out to Champoeg State Park. Driving south, I was dreaming about flat paths and how everything was going to go. Then it hit me...no running shoes...I had left my shoes at home. No, running in the VFFs on my feet was not an option, so we turned around to get the shoes. And then off again...

Finally to the park!

Indy & I finally arrived about 12:30 and did a couple miles warm up and a few strides. And we were off! I planned an out and back along the asphalt path in the park. Although not even close to the temps of the non-virtual race in Arizona, it was plenty warm for me! The sweat was rolling off. At the beginning of mile 3, I passed an older couple with their granddaughters and the cutest tiny Pom. Yeah, I know it was a race, but I stopped anyway. We chatted for a few minutes while Indy greeted their dog and was adored by the girls. I headed on out to finish up. Finished in 26:03--a sort-of PR. (Twenty seconds quicker, but with the extended stop not gonna count it.) All I can hope is that I win the Female, 43, Running with Dog Division.

The park edges along the Willamette River south of Portland.

As for the number 23...years ago we numbered our family for a reunion. Each person was numbered according to when they becam a member of the Barringer clan. Dad, 1; Mom, 2; oldest sister, 3; etc... My mom (2) and oldest sister (3) have passed away therefore the 2 and 3. Put them together for 23 and you have the number of my husband and best friend. So 23 has become a bit of a specail number to me.

Find a Penny

2011-06-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

Find a penny, pick it up and all day you'll have good luck. At least that is how the saying goes. However, my dad did it a little different. If he found a penny, he would pick it up. But instead of hoping for luck, he would attribute it to a lesson from God. As a preacher, Dad could make almost anything a parable! He would hold that penny and study it. Then he would quote Philipians 4:19. "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

Last week, I was running up the last hill toward home. I glanced down. It took a moment for my brain to register. A couple of steps and I realized it was a penny on the road. I laughed out loud. It was bred into me. I stopped, turned around and picked up that penny. In a whisper, I quoted, "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Dad's legacy continues.

On one of our many camping trips. Me, Dad and Melanie

Dad with his dad at Black Pine Lake.

Dad with my brother, Bernie, on Christmas in Aberdeen

Dad loves tractors! Showing Ben how to drive up Beaver Creek.

One of my favorite memories! A whole afternoon with jusst me and Dad!

My Own Worst Enemy: A Race Report

2011-06-12T13:10:00.000-07:00

I am not going into mile by mile detail about the Helvetia Half yesterday. The race was very well organized. I was able to meet Stacie of Impossible is Nothing and saw Amanda of Runninghood as well as a couple of other friends. The course was even more hilly than I expected, but absolutely gorgeous. My goal was to run strong and hopefully finish another half under 2 hours.

Stacie and I after the race. It was her second of 4 halfs in June and a new PR!

With my recent difficulty in racing, I tried some new things this week. I hydrated very well, ate cleanly and didn't even think about a PR. I had no dairy later in the week and very little sugar. My GI system felt great. I was sure this was going to fix my running runs issue.

I can blame pollen or asthma or hills or anything else. Yet it comes down to one thing--anxiety. In addition to my struggles with depression, I have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). More information than you may want to know, I realize. I seem to be able to train through anything without too much trouble--well, except the occasional running runs... However, put me in a race and I need more porta-potties than a race director can possibly expect. Put me in a race and my lungs tighten up and I cannot get a deep breath. Leaving me with a tendency to severe side stitches and asthma attacks.

Yesterday brought home that it is not my training. My recent racing issues are clearly mental. All the positive mantras cannot seem to get me past the fear of being surrounded by people I do not know. When it is just me and the road, I can run forever. Me, the road, lots of people and a finish line and I cannot relax. Things were going reasonably well until someone talked to me. It was a long hill during mile 7 and I was doing my regular race breathing--heavy and shallow. A woman simply said, "You can do it. Try to breath deeper." I smiled and thanked her. Just that interaction made me emotional. I tried her suggestion as my side was in bad shape from breathing too shallow. Just a couple of moments and I had a pretty bad asthma attack. Enough that I had to sit at the side of the road to try to catch my breath. I was so grateful for the two people that stopped and checked on me. Both were so kind. I finally caught my breath and began to walk. In and out, slow and easy. Mouth wide and relaxed. The attack was easing, but I truly thought I was going to have my first DNF. My breathing eased so I decided to run walk to the end. If I started to struggle, I would walk.

The biggest frustration was that my legs were not even the slightest bit tired. Those hills were just dragons to slay. My sword plunged into the dragon's back with each step. The hills did not beat me. I was my worst enemy. I was conquered by my own fear. That is the reason I feel the most defeated. The course was not my enemy. I was.

Stats:

Official Time: 2:12:36

Overall: 1262/2731

Gender: 579/1692

Age Group: 104/262

May Summary

2011-06-01T17:12:00.000-07:00

March Miles: 132.6

2011 Total: 513.3

Stationary Bike: 1x for 15.8 miles

Walking: 4x for 11.7 miles

Strength Training: 7x

The Good: Started the month with 2 weeks of great training and good mileage... My long runs were good, especially the misdirected one. Had a great tempo and one good interval workout. Also started some serious core work with a medicine ball!

The Bad: The last two weeks I missed runs and strength training workouts. My mileage dropped from 36 miles the first week to 21 the last and it was NOT a cutback week. The dark skies really made it hard to get out the door. I miss my sunshine!

The Ugly: My eating--sugar and high glygemic carbs were my downfall. I added a couple of pounds and that was NOT in the plan! All of this led to GI issues that changed my runs twice. Had to quit on an interval workout and shortened another run. Here is to a better June of writing down EVERYTHING that goes into my mouth!

Races: Just the Up the Lazy River 10k. Still gaining perspective, but truly believe my fueling non-strategy was a big culprit. Next up Helvetia Half on June 11th!

Mind Games (A Race Report)

2011-05-31T20:33:00.000-07:00

Maybe you remember my description of the Up the Lazy River 10k--a great big, giant, killer hill just after mile 3. Of course, I last ran it in '09 when I had been running less than a year. The hill killed me. That is what I remembered and took with me on Monday morning. The problem with that is I had made this huge hill into the obstacle of the entire race. I had forgotten all the other rolling hills. And, the aforementioned hill was not as big and bad as I remembered. In fact, it was much smaller than many hills I run on a daily basis. Yet, I could not recover mentally.

Hubby and I were at Mary S. Young Park early. The weather was perfect for racing, cool and cloudy, but no rain. My warm up went very well. Easy jogging followed by dynamic stretching and some strides. After I gathered my packet, I met one of our own great bloggers, Teri from (Long) Road to Paradise. I did not recognize her and actually thought it was someone else. She is as great as her posts and I enjoyed visiting for a few minutes. She was co-race director so she had plenty on her plate!

A couple of concerns about the race were bothering me. The hill... and the fact that my Garmin was not working. I couldn't decide if I would race better without it or would I miss the feedback to keep me motivated. This was going to be 10 kilometers of "running by feel." That would be great if I had really practiced it.

The first mile felt really good, of course. I crossed the mile in about 8:30--faster than I would have liked, but not bad. Mile 2 and 3 continued on a positive note just a bit slower than the first mile. Just after the water station at mile 3 you turn a corner and meet the hill. It took me by surprise.

Why? I don't know. I knew it was there. But it took the wind out of my sails. Even as I was going up, I realized it wasn't as bad as I remembered. Yet I just couldn't get my mind around it. The plan was to take it easy the first of the hill and attack the last third. I couldn't. I walked most of the hill. I got passed by a guy running his first 10k while pushing a double stroller with toddlers. Ouch!

The top of the hill was there with a sharp left turn. I kept pushing and talked positive. I would focus on someone ahead of me, but I was pretty alone on this stretch. I passed mile 4--split 10:00. Nothing that I could not recover from. My quads were burning. My side started to ache. My lungs were working hard, but fine. One of these days it will all come together. I knew a PR was going to be really tough at this point. It became harder to push through. I kept passing walkers that had started before the run. There were no runners to latch onto. No one was coming up behind to push me forward. I think that made it more difficult to hold on. I passed mile 5 and knew a PR was not possible.

The last mile was just me trying to hold on. I would slow then push. I knew I was getting close to the end. I kept telling myself that it was almost over. After all, I can do anything for just a few more minutes. Then it was there--the finish line! Push, push, push! I crossed in 56:18, more than 1:20 off my PR. Rats.

A day later and the disappointment fades. A few hours goes a long way to bringing perspective. Not a great race, but not terrible. I do think my Garmin would have been helpful to help me start a bit slower and help me push in the late, lonely miles. Overall, I cannot complain. I can only take the lessons learned and move forward. However, I do think I would rather train than race. I train great, but often race poorly. Sigh...

Poor hubby! He gets bored waiting for my races. He does prefer 5 and 10ks to marathons though.

Ready to race!

The race is the Master's Championship for the club so all masters age groups are just one year. I got 2nd of 2! Wooohooo!

In Honor & Gratitude

2011-05-30T21:38:00.000-07:00

Today I ran a race and spent time with my hubby. I could do this because so many have sacrificed for my freedom. All I can say is thank you. Thank you to my brother, my nephew and my uncles for their service. Thank you to all men and women who have served past and present. Thank you to all the loved ones that have been left home to wait and hope. You have my deepest gratitude.

Gloom, Despair and Agony on Me

2011-05-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

Deep, dark depression, excessive misery

If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all

Gloom, despair, and agony on me

Depression the deep dark hole that I fall into from time to time. Sinking into the hole with little hope of escaping. The darkness is overwhelming and suffocates the motivation from the marrow of my bones. Life is in shades of gray. The longer I am in the hole the more I want to stay there. It is easier to remain buried than to try to dig out.

Poking holes in the darkness takes more effort than I can manage. I need help. Yet the darkness is so suffocating I cannot speak. Other times the darkness comes so slowly that I don't even realize I am surrounded until the bottom of the pit is at my feet. Tears wait, but cannot be shed due to the sheer effort that would take. Weak moments of joy break the darkness, but cannot be held onto.

Breathing in and out. That is all I can manage at this moment. Sheer willpower causes my feet to move. Knowing tasks must be done is the only pull at my psyche. I will survive. One day soon, the effort to poke holes in the darkness will be there. I will grasp at the walls of my hole and pull myself up. Light will return and the gray will turn to the colors of the rainbow.

This hope is my salvation. Until then, I will breathe in and out. One day that breath will give me the strength to reach up. I know that when I reach up, there will be a hand to grasp. I will hold on with every ounce of strength as the hand will not let me go.

Finally Spring!

2011-05-19T14:23:00.000-07:00

Lilacs! Reminders of childhood in the Methow Valley where there was a beautiful bush near the front door. I loved when it began to bloom and I knew summer was coming!

New growth! I love the new growth on evergreen trees. The bright green contrast to the older needles are so soft.

"Sweet Olive" tomatoes. Tiny tomatoes that are the perfect size for popping in the mouth! Mmmmmm!

The color of green leaves against a clear blue sky--the perfect color combination!

New blooms in the flower bed signals the end of a very long winter and a very wet spring.

Just Call Me "Wrong Way"

2011-05-11T20:11:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you have ever heard of Douglas "Wrong Way" Corrigan. He is actually more than a character from Gilligan's Island. Well, that was actually "Wrong Way" Feldman...

Anyway, on Monday I earned the nickname. I took a wrong turn on my long run and ended way off course. Truth is that it added a lot of hills and a couple of extra miles, but it was worth it in the end. Seriously, when I crested the hill and saw where I was I laughed out loud. I knew I was a long way from where I meant to be, but it was just funny. I took a quick break at the Y and refilled my water. Then I headed back out to the one road I was trying to avoid--Elwert. Up and down and more ups and downs. And there is very little shoulder. And busier than I like. Oh well... I ended up meeting up with my husband as he finished his round of golf. That kept me from another couple of miles and a big hill!

The morning started with hubby driving me to the Mountain View cemetary. My route started with a quick visit with my mom. From there I headed toward home. A gentle downhill for nearly a mile. Then came the HILL--2.5 miles with an average 4.8% grade and a max of 7%. Yes, I planned it that way!

Visiting my mama

I approached the entire route with the intention of maintaining effort. If that meant walking some of the hill then so be it. And so it was. Yet when I walked, I did not stroll, I kept it moving. It was hard, but so much fun. I remembered to look back a few times and enjoy the view as well as patting myself for working hard. It was beautiful up in the hills. I love running on narrow country roads where I hardly see another person and get stared at by cows. From there is was a long down hill followed by a lot of rollers. My splits were all over the place, but effort was consistent. My slowest mile was 12:35 and fastest was 8:37.

Looking back gave me the confidence to move forward.

I ended with just over 14.5 miles in 2:25 (9:56 average). I truly loved almost every minute of the run. Mentally, I focused well, switching internally and externally. Even with the wrong route negativity did not enter the run. There are good runs and bad runs. Then there are runs that remind you why you put your shoes and get out the door. This was one of those runs. It reminded me how strong I am mentally and physically. It reminded me that I can do what I set out to do.

Freaking AWESOME Day!

2011-05-09T22:45:00.000-07:00

Began with a 14 miler with monster hills, followed by lunch with the hubs and chill time. Ended with a book signing at Powell's in Beaverton where I got to meet Kara Goucher and Amanda from Runninghood! More to come!

The Writing is on the Wall...

2011-05-07T15:57:00.000-07:00

So, yeah. I don't ♥ speedwork yet, but I can see the writing on the wall... A friend, Forever Run (aka Sara), from the Loop told me I would love speedwork someday. That was about 18 months ago. I laughed in her face...stupid me... That is too much like saying "never." Say that word and you are sure to do exactly that! My mom always told me, "Never say never." (Of course, she said never say always either and I just did.) Sure enough the day is coming. It might as well be painted in the lanes of the track.

I still was very nervous about this week's intervals. I ended up procrastinating one day for them. However, I say it was because I wasn't feeling well. After my work of the morning was finished, the dog and I headed to the track. The plan was to run there unless it was too crowded. Otherwise we would use the bike path. It wasn't crowded, just a group playing Austrailian rules football in the infield and a few kids playing in the sand pit. I did my usual warm up--skipping, grapevines, dynamic stretching and strides. Then we began.

The first was 2 miles at 10k pace (or somewhere in the 8:30s). This scared me--8 laps trying to hold a steady pace. Not my strong suit! "Relax, find your groove." I did! It was HARD! It was great! 16:58 (8:29)

Now the die was cast. The 8:29 average for the first interval meant I needed to keep the rest in the 8:20s. No letting up! The 4 mile repeats took a lot of focus! I had finished what I expected to be the really hard interval and thought these would be easier...NOT! I followed the things I have been learning and used positive self talk. I changed my focus between internal and external stimuli based on where I was struggling. If something internal was starting to cause negativity, I looked outside myself for distraction. When it began to rain and the wind blew, I focused on cadence and relaxing my face and shoulders. It worked. I not only survived I rocked them!

Once finished, Indy and I headed back to the trail for the run home. I am not sure who was more tired. For once he didn't seem to mind the slow going! I really needed this to be a strong workout. I needed the mental focus on something other than my regular life today. Doing better emotionally and a few endorphins sure help!

Warm Up: 1.54 @ 10:08
16:58 (8:29), 8:25, 8:29, 8:22, 8:25
Cool Down: 1.46 @ 11:02

April Summary

2011-05-05T21:42:00.000-07:00

April Miles: 130.4
2011 Total: 380.8

Stationary Bike: 1x for 16 miles
Walking: 2x for 3.1 miles
Strength Training: 8x

High Point: Miles! My weekly mileage is finally back above 30. That is a happy number for me. I tend to thrive emotionally and physically at 30-35 miles per week. Also, my interval workouts were fantastic!

Low Point: I had a couple of days that had some pain and stiffness in my hips/psoas. A cutback week and extra ice seems to clear it up. Cross training got left out a bit...

Best run(s): Definitely the mile repeats! The entire workout was tough, but gave me such a huge confidence boost.

Races: Marine Park 5k. No PR, but learned a few things and got to meet up with other bloggers!

MIA

2011-05-05T21:11:00.000-07:00

Yep, I have been missing lately. Feeling run down and fatigued of late. Still running 30+ miles a week and enjoying that. There are just some things that get me down.

1. My oldest brother has cancer. I cannot even begin to tell you how much this sucks. He has surgery scheduled for June. It hurts to even write about it. He is my hero! Too much pain after losing my sister in '96 and Mom in '04. Prayers are greatly appreciated.

2. Mother's Day. I miss my mom so much. There is still a huge hole in my heart. I really don't know how I would survive if I didn't know that I will see her again.

Overall, I feel crappy. My head has ached for days. I have a low grade fever that comes and goes. I am giving it until next week--post Mother's day grief--to see if it is psychosomatic or there is something going on. But no fever tonight so tomorrow is trackwork! Running intervals takes focus. Focusing on running means I cannot brood. Running is my therapy!

Pity party over.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood!

2011-04-22T21:10:00.000-07:00

The morning started at 8 am with 6 x Mile repeats at a nearby track. The track is 1.5 miles from the house the perfect warm up and cool down distance. The track is well used by the neighborhood and several walkers and runners were there on this beautiful day! The repeats were hard, but AWESOME! The plan was for 10k pace, but I haven't run one in nearly 2 years. So I decided on low 8:40s or maybe 8:30s if I was feeling good. All 6 repeats were in the 8:30s! I was very happy with how it went.

The afternoon was spent at the golf course... Hubby played 9 holes while I sat in the sunshine and finished my book. It was torture...NOT! It was a little piece of heaven! The book was great! I have already begun to put several ideas into my daily training. I am already seeing progress including how I approached the morning's workout.

The Hunt for a PR

2011-04-16T19:28:00.000-07:00

I set out this morning for a PR. The weather was cool and damp, but no rain or wind. The course was along the Columbia River and very flat. I spent the week visualizing the race and getting menatlly prepared. I even had someone to pace me--the amazing MildSauce from the Loop. My PR was 26:23 and I really believed I could go sub 26 with possibly going close to 25:30.

I woke early after a good night's sleep. Up and at 'em with my usual routine--breakfast, shower and gathering things together. I was ready to go early and off Hubby and I went. I was feeling surprisingly good as my hip had been bothering me soem earlier in the week. Apparently lots of icing, rolling and Biofreeze did the trick. Once we arrived, Hubby got out his book and I started my warm up. An easy 15 minutes followed by a few drills and strides. Everything felt smooth and I was ready for a huge PR!

As start time neared, other Loopsters began to arrive. First, Debrina59, then Coelle18 and finally MildSauce who already had 7 miles on the books with plans for another 6 after pacing me. This was the first time we had met Debrina and her husband had come along. A bit of visiting and it was time to begin. The Clark County Running Club saturday races are very low key. A chalk start line with big clock and simple directions and more chalk lines. No shirts, no bibs, no fuss. For $2, it is a great value!

A simple "Set, Go" and we were off. No dodging, just off to the pace. MildSauce and I visited for a moment and she said she would talk and I need not reply. Good thing as it was not too long before I could not respond! The first mile felt good--running hard, but felt like I could maintain for a while. At about the mile mark was a short peninsula for an out and back. Coming up a small slope, MildSauce nodded at a man ahead of us. She smiled and said we could take him. A short surge and we left him in the dust! Waving at both Debrina and Coelle, we headed back on the main path. MildSauce kept encouraging me and really helped keep me moving. My legs felt awesome and strong. My lungs not so much. My usual wheezing started too soon. We slowed, but I still couldn't catch my breathe. A quick stop and a reminder to myself to keep the mouth wide and relax. The turn around was a welcom sight! We were on the home stretch and hoped I could hold on. Running the peninsula on the return was a tease! I just wanted to keep heading back to the finish instead of 2 90 degree turns and a 180 turn. With just a mile to go, my wheezing was not getting better, but not getting much worse either. "Just relax. Open the mouth and relax the face." One more quick stop for catching a lung full of air. MildSauce was awesome! "You are doing great. Perfect." I know she said more, but it is a haze. We rounded a corner and hubby was standing there with the camera. I tried to smile a bit or at least not look like an angry maniac, but it didn't work. Then I could see the finish line. The was my focus. MildSauce asked if I could pick it up. I could. I did! I felt like I was running like the wind...my Garmin says different... I noticed the clock. 26:21, 26:22.. I crossed the line! 26:23.

No PR today. It was a great effort that would not have happened without the help of my Loop pacer. I know that 5k PR is right there. I may register for another one soon. Or I may not. All I know is that for me a 5k hurts just as much as a marathon. The pain may be a little different, but it hurts the same.

More visiting and some amazing homemade cookies, finished Mini Loopfest 2 of 2011! Running friends are the BEST!

Pushing it with all I had left to get to that finish line!

If having nothing left at the finish means you ran well, I ran the perfect race...

MildSauce was AWESOME!

Mini Loopfest 2: Coelle18, Debrina59, juanitagf, MildSauce

Memories of Lynda

2011-04-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

I remember the first moment I held my first niece, Lynda Michelle. At just 4 days old, she seems to melt into my arms. I had never held such a beautiful baby. At 10 years old, I hadn't held many babies. She was not a tiny baby, but she was so cuddly and soft. There was a moment when I knew I would do anything to protect her. She was not my own yet she was a part of me. Her mother was my idol and now she had an amazing little girl.

Growing up, Lynda and her younger sister spent a lot of time visiting my parents. I loved the excitement of preparing for their visit. Mom and Dad would talk about everything they wanted to do with the girls. Each spring, Mom would order chicks, but she would always wait for delivery until the girls were there. We all loved the joy on their faces when they held them. My mom would cry when the girls would go home. She loved all her grandchildren, but Lynda and Donella had a very special place in her heart. The rest of the summer would seem lifeless without the girls bringing wild flower bouquets from the walks on the property.

Lynda grew up and her life expanded. Visits became less frequent. It is the manner of life. She finished high school and got a job. She began college. She was surrounded by family and friends that loved her. And then it was over. In one moment, she was gone. Another driver made a decision that changed life. She choose to have another drink, then she got in her car. The consequences were devastating. In only one moment, Lynda was absent from the body and present with the Lord. It doesn't seem right. It isn't fair. Yet it is. There is a purpose. I cannot see it, but I know that somehow, somewhere God used a tragedy to bring joy.

Lynda's first Easter.

Lynda would often sleep with me during their visits.

Playing games with family

Lynda Michelle Frein

11/14/77 - 4/13/00

Get Ready to RAMBLE!

2011-04-08T20:09:00.000-07:00

Great way to start the day--6x800s. The best part of the morning run? SUNSHINE! It was a skrt and tank sort of day! Gotta love those! I programmed my Garmin for the run and decided to do them on the Fanno Creek trail so the dog could come along. I thought I would shoot for about 8:15 pace. Does making conservative goals make me push to surpass them or should I set really tough goals and possibly not make them? I don't know. After my 5k next week, I will plug the numbers into McMillan and see what he has to say. I think setting conservative goals may be good for me as I push hard enough as it is--sometimes too hard. Now I know you are wondering how it worked out. Better than I expected considering how tired my legs have been this week. Here they are: 8:06, 8:10, 8:06, 7:58, 8:00, 7:48. The last one was hurting so I stopped for a moment and told myself to calm down and chill out. After that, I really relaxed and actually sped up. Sometimes I sabotage myself by trying too hard. I am happy with the workout. My mental focus could have been better at times, but overall a very good effort. And I made a very happy dog by avoiding the track!

From there hubby and I headed to lunch at my favorite place. Mmmmmm, Cheesecake Factory! I had a Santa Fe Chicken Salad. Sooo yummy! It has an amazing peanut cilantro dressing. I can't even finish the lunch portion!

Such a nice day so hubby plans to play golf. With only one car, I go with him and take the car. He texts me when he tees off the 8th so I can meet him when he is done. (More rambling...) I have birthday money from my mother-in-law burning a hole in my pocket so I head off to REI. I want to try the Vibrams. I am barefoot 90% of the time--pretty much anytime I am not running. I would love to have something like them to wear around doing errands and such. REI is notorious for taking FOREVER to get assistance in the shoe department. I wait a long time to just get someone to pull my size, then the next size up... I wear them around and look at other things. Gotta try them out. I LOVE them. If I use our dividend, it will take all my birthday money. I decide to go for it. When I check out, the lady asks if I would like to use a 20% off coupon, too. Uhhh, duh, YES! I got a great deal on the Classic Five Fingers model. Of course, when hubby saw them he laughed. I knew he would.

Being such a gorgeous day, hubby wanted to play a full 18 holes. Hmmm, what to do? Ahhhh, massage! My favorite massage therapist doesn't work in the afternoons, but she trained a couple of people in the office. "Okay, does one of them have an opening?" "Yes, 30 minutes." "I'll be there!" Well, not only did he have 30 minutes, he didn't have a next appointment. He gave me a full 60 minutes for the price of the 30! I feel so much better! I will schedule with him again. Just the right amount of pressure and really worked the usual runner spots!

Now, I sit checking blogs, FB and Twitter while the Mariner's home opener is on--oh, now the Blazer game--back to baseball. Hubby definitely has the remote! Back to work tomorrow after a really great day off!

Note to Nike, Asics, Saucony, Etc.

2011-04-07T12:48:00.000-07:00

After reading Small Town Runner's blog on stability shoes and ankle injuries, I thought I should get my gait looked at again. I had been wearing neutral shoes, but recently switched to stability. I wondered why one place put me in neutral and another in stability. My recent ankle injury with some ITB soreness made me think that maybe the wrong shoes could be contributing. I headed back in and did the whole rigamarole. Hmmm, seems that I am a neutral--and a stability. My left side is neutral. The side with the ankle issues is a neutral running in a stability shoes. My right on the other hand needs a stability shoe. Since switching to stability, I have not had any blisters.

I have a solution. Shoe companies take note! Please make shoes that are interchangeable. Create a line of matching shoes that have different traits. That way I can purchase a stability for my right foot and a neutral for my left. As long as you are doing it, please leave a wide toebox and narrow heel. I am sure I am not the only one with this delimma.

The "C" Word

2011-04-06T19:36:00.000-07:00

Grief permeates
Every moment infused
Sorrow overwhelms

This road traveled before
Hills and valleys are
Peaks and canyons

Waiting for word
Marred patience
Sleep delayed

Joy!

2011-04-03T08:05:00.000-07:00

A single day in your courts

is better than a thousand anywhere else!

I would rather be a gatekeeper in the house of my God

than live the good life in the homes of the wicked.

For the Lord God is our sun and our shield.

He gives us grace and glory.

The Lord will withhold no good thing

from those who do what is right.

Psalm 84:10-11

I read a headline yesterday that reported beautiful people live happier lives. I suppose that could be true depending on one's definistion of happy. Dictionary.com defines it as delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing: to be happy to see a person; favored by fortune; fortunate or lucky. Dictionary.com defines joy as the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation. I realize many view happiness and joy as synonomous. I view happiness as a superficial emotion. Happiness comes and goes. Joy, on the other hand, I see as a deep, abiding state of being. Happiness is caused by the comings and goings of daily life. Joy is within us and is not affected by external stimuli. Happiness ebbs and flows and is available to everyone. Joy is only achieved by a belief in God and in his ability to work within us. Joy is not dependent on circumstances. I can have the lowliest of positions and have an abiding joy. That is the true measure of life. No one and nothing can take that joy from me.

March Summary

2011-03-31T20:56:00.000-07:00

March Miles: 110.3
2011 Total: 250.3

Stationary Bike: 3x for 42.4 miles
Walking: 2x for 6.2 miles
Strength Training: 10x!!!!!

High Point: Consistency! All around. The only workouts I missed were 2 aerobic cross training sessions. I still did my strength training those days. No unscheduled rest days. No injury.

Low Point: Hmmm, I really can't think of anything really bad. There were a couple of not great runs, but nothing horrible.

Best run(s): Definitely the fartleks with Coelle--my only run with two-legged partner. It is always AWESOME to run with her! The other was the 400 repeats. Incredibly fun workout.

Overall, a great month with increasing mileage--finally! Feel like I am doing a better job of keeping my easy miles easy so I can really hit the hard workouts. However, my easy miles are getting faster again. I can hold a conversation with the dog at 9:30 pace again. Hooray! So looking forward to some warmer temperatures and maybe even some sunshine in April!

Incredible LSD

2011-03-28T22:22:00.000-07:00

Today was a near perfect run. Nine miles of spring loving hill running! In spite of the forecasted rain, it was overcast with intermittent sunbreaks. I planned a new route that heads out to the country. My long runs are finally getting long enough to get off the city streets again. Indy and I headed out about 8. I started nice and easy. My first 3 miles were the slowest of all. The last 6 miles were within a few second of each other. Perfect! Indy stayed by my side--not pushing in front--and moving behind as the shoulder narrowed. He did exactly as he is trained and not like he usually does like pulling ahead and trying to run exactly where my foot needs to land. We completed the run faster than I anticipated and with ease. Even the last hill felt good. If I had remembered how hilly the road was, I probably would not have gone that way. I have to credit my twice weekly strength training and mental for my increasing mastery of the hills.

And, for the first time since last October, I finished the run with a tub full of cold water and ice. I ended up filling the tub really full so the bath was all the way up to my waist! Brrrrr!

Too Long

2011-03-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe how long it has been since I have written! Nearly every day, I write a post in my head, but it never seems to get completed. So now I sit with thousands of thoughts clamoring to be heard.

First, running, It is often the first thought on my mind. I am back at training. I did my first track workout on the 18th. I chose 8 x 400 with 200 recovery. I don't know why I chose that, but I thought they were short enough that I could maintain focus and get it over quickly. The plan was to take it pretty easy and run about an 8:20 pace for all repeats. That didn't work too well. The first was an even 2:00 (8:00). Well, I thought, I did that now I couldn't do any slower...And low and behold, I did nearly that! I lost that focus on the 5th and ended up with a 2:01, but all others were 1:52-59 (7:28-7:56). I finished knowing I could run more, but would start to sacrifice my form before long. I let it be what is was a near perfect workout and a HUGE confidence builder!

My other runs have been going well, too. This week I managed a 4 mile tempo at 8:29. My current 5k PR is at 8:30. Even my easy runs are speeding back up. I can hold a conversation below 10:00s again. Weekly mileage is building slowly and soon will be back to the 30-35 that I like. I finally added 2 races to my calendar--a 5k in April and a 10k on Memorial Day. I can't race often so these are two where I think I can PR. The one on Memorial Day is tough with a ~~huge~~ ~~large~~ gigantic ~~hill~~ mountain at mile 3. My current PR is from this course three years ago. That was my last time I raced that distance. Time to change that!

Running is really coming together for me right now. My weight is coming down slowly and my speed is starting to return from the long sickly winter. The best part is that I am loving getting out there even in the rain. Of course, I love that the sun is starting to peak through the more and more. Spring brings the desire to run farther and faster. My plan is to continue to increase my long runs back to around 14 miles and maintain 1-2 other hard workouts a week--intervals, tempos, fartleks, etc. I heart running!

On another hand, I am doing something I have not done since high school. I started to read the Bible through this year using a droid application from YouVersion. It has several different reading plans. I chose to read chronologically. So, even though I am currently in I Samuel, there are Psalms interspersed according to when David wrote them. In high school, I used the King James version. (Don't get me started!) This time I am reading the New Living Translation. Wow! It is bringing it all to life! I get so involved in the reading sometimes that I read multiple days. The stories I heard as a kid are coming back in full color. It is exciting!

Lastly, my younger sister lives on 19 acres not far from me. She is loving the farm life including her goats. Spring is the time for new life! Last week I headed over to see her new kids of the four legged kind. Oh my goodness, they are soooooo cute! The first was a single birth. Snowflake had a difficult time and M and her husband had to pull the kid as both became very stressed. Stormy seems like an appropriate name. He was a big boy at nearly 10 pounds! He loved running around and playing. His mom was pretty nervous and stuck close to him. Butterfly was bred to a Nigerian Dwarf. Her twin girls, Marigold and Lavender, were 4.5 pounds and adorable. At just a few days, they were climbing on a log and trying to knock each other off. I ended up with muddy jeans as Stormy kept trying to jump up on me. Goats do love to climb!

I finished the visit reading my niece's writing assignments and offering suggestions and corrections. I really enjoy being able to help her with her creative writing. Her mom had me select a book for her to read and write her first book report. I chose The Quilt by T. Davis Bunn. It has been been a few years since I read it, but it is a great book. It will be short and easy for her first. Then we will move on to some others maybe Silas Marner by George Elliot.

Some photos to make you smile!

M with Stormy

My niece with Marigold and Lavender

The twins are seriously adorable

Stormy frolics under Snowflakes watchful eye.

T with Butterfly and her girls

Stormy loves to chase my nephew around the trees.

My Boys

2011-03-17T16:02:00.000-07:00

I love my boys--my papillon-pomeranian boys. The boys are twins--actually, they are the entire litter. We have had them 3 years--since they were 3 months old. They have grown up around people. Believe it or not, they are tax deductions as they are for the care and comfort of our residents. They bring great laughter with their antics at times. They also drive us crazy other times. We continue to threaten to trade them for goldfish, but so far haven't followed through on that. The truth is that they would rather be with their dad than me. However, when dad is gone they want me in sight. The y love to sit on the back of the sofa so they can watch for ~~intruders~~ visitors. Always helpful, they let us know if anyone arrives or walks by or is within miles of the place...

Han Solo (Han) may be the smaller of the two, but he is the pack leader. His brother will not approach the food or a toy until Han is finished or gives a sign. At half the size, he is the one in charge! Han is incredibly cuddly. He would be perfectly happy if he were held 24/7. Lap, arms, it doesn't matter. Han has a liver disease and is on a low protein diet. He is fine and should live a long life, but the disease has some neurological side effects. He may be completely comfortable relaxing and suddnely jump up. It is actually quite funny at times. He will move his head around staring like he is watching a fly buzz about. Only there is not fly. Poor guy gets laughed at sometimes. He is a scardey cat about a lot of things, but he will be the first to get comfortable with new people in the house. He has spent hours relaxing at the feet of residents either in bed or in recliners.

Indiana Jones (Indy) is a completely different personality. He is more shy around people, but far more active than his brother. He is the one who wants to play. He is my running partner. He loves to get out there and encourage me to go faster and farther. His longest run has been 14 miles. Last week he ran 7 with me then went on an hour long walk later in the afternoon. When he wants to cuddle, it needs to be on his terms. He loves sitting half on the arm of a chair and the other half on a lap. However, he will be the first to instigate wrestling with me or his brother to get a laugh. After a bath, he runs circles in the house rubbing his face on the carpet to dry. It takes him longer to warm up to people and will often back away if reached toward. However, when you are his friend, he will do anything for you. A couple of years ago, we had a resident who porfessed he "didn't like dogs" yet Indy was always able to get up on his lap and nap along with him. Months later, the man was dying. His family was unable to be with him. Indy slept on his bed up close to him. True friendship to the end.

The favorite place in the house unless they are being held or on dad's lap.

Indy is my awesome running partner.

Han is the cuddly one.

Trying to get Indy to pose with me...

Not exactly the pose I had in mind...

Dragon Slayer

2011-03-12T17:02:00.000-08:00

I cannot run from my house without running hills. I go up or down. On the return trip, I run the opposite. Most of my routes start downhill and end with me running uphill. My least favorite hill is a long gradual climb. It seems to go on forever when I am already fatigued. In my reading of using positive mantras, I decided this hill would be my greatest experiment! The other day as I approached the hill, I made myself smile and began to chant. "I love hills. Hills make me strong." I figured if I said it with enough enthusiasm, iti would become my truth.

Later, my Facebook status read, Juanitagf smiled and chanted, "I love hills. Hills make me strong." If she says it with enough enthusiasm, will it come true? Of course, I received a variety of responses. My favorite was from a cousin. She replied, "I actually don't mind hills, but when it comes to steep ones I almost always have the phrase 'KILL the HILL!!' going through my head! My fists turn into pretend daggers as I pump them up and down...pretty gruesome, no?! (0; There's a pretty steep one by my house too..."

I had to laugh. It is a great mantra! "Kill the hill!" I had to try it! This morning, I had a short tempo that would bring me back home up that hill. I looked at the bottom and said to myself, "KILL the HILL!!" Then a picture popped into my mind. A dragon's back. A sleeping dragon's back. I am the dragon slayer. I must run up the dragon's back. If I stop, I wake the dragon and he will attack me. Running the hill quickly and lightly would keep him tranced and I would kill him as I crested the top of his head. Truly, I have a very vivid imagination... I began the climb. Posture upright, feet light and quick. Each step led me further into danger. Yet, by continuing, I was able to lull the dragon. I smiled and laughed aloud. As crazy as it sounded, it was working. The hill did not seem so intimidating. After all, I was the dragon slayer and I would conquer the hill! I crested the hill and killed that old dragon before he even knew what hit him! I cruised that last 400 meters home with wings on my feet and victory in my heart!

Socks!

2011-03-10T11:43:00.000-08:00

I love fun socks--bright socks, toe socks, fuzzy socks, silly socks. Today I received my best ever pair of socks in the mail. I did not expect them. I didn't even remember I had requested a pair. All that makes the surprise so much better. I opened the package to find these:

My sister made them for me! There will NEVER be a pair of socks that are better than these! Aren't they AWESOME?!

Arm Warmers?

2011-03-08T14:36:00.000-08:00

I never really thought about arm warmers. I figured I would just weal long sleeves. Now that spring is coming and the weather is even wackier than normal, I am finding the long sleeve thing just isn't working. I get too hot in one. Yet my elbows and lower arms are cold. With the pricing of arm warmers, I decided to tough it out. Man, those things are spendy and I just blew my running budget on a new sport's bra. (Trust me, the sport's bra is definitely the spendign priotity!) Then I remembered Small Town Runner's idea. Socks. I had a great pair of sparkly striped toe socks with holes in the toes. Not anymore! Now I have awesome sparkly striped arm warmers. And they work great! This morning I threw on a short sleeve shirt with the "arm warmers" and gloves. Perfection! Everything stayed in place. My arms stayed warm and my core stayed cool. Gotta love a good runner tip!

There! Finally got the picture to attach!

Sport Bra Rant

2011-03-06T16:21:00.000-08:00

UGH! I hate bra shopping. It doesn't matter what kind of bra I need, it is a pain to find a good one in the right size for even a half way decent price. I am hereby looking for a new sport's bra. They are even more difficult to find in my size. I realize many runners are not ~~busty~~ well endowed. And, honestly, I wish I were smaller no matter what my husband says. Some women lose size with weight loss. I do not. Certainly I am not the only woman out there that has a small ribcage and large cup size. Seriously! This is driving me crazy--well, crazier than I already am.

Yesterday I stopped at the running store. I found two bras in a style I really liked and were for high impact i.e. running. I grabbed one of each and tried them on. Wow! I loved the shape and the look and they almost fit. For the first time I had found a racer back bra that might just work for me. Woohoo! I might be able to wear some of the really cute shinglets and show off my shoulders. (Strength training is paying off!) I get all my own clothes back on and head out to check sizes. Nothing in a 32. Nothing. I head over to the register and ask. They only get one 32 of each size and they are gone immediately. (Seems to me the buyer should get a hint from that...) "Well," I ask, "Do you know if the come in my size?" (Yeah, it is true. Many bras aren't even made in my size. Try getting a cheap bra now!) The response is less than stellar in my book. Fine. I go home to research.

One of the two bras is indeed in my size. I order it quickly and add a clearance racer back top. Woohoo! Now the other. I head to the Champion website. This is the one I really loved and would even work for everyday. Sigh. It isn't in my size. That just really sucks. Almost. So, do I order it and hope the slightly smaller size will fit or let it go? Hmmm, that is the decision before me now.

All in all, at least I found one that should fit great. It is a Moving Comfort so I know the quality is good. I know their sizing so everything is looking positive. It is just so frustrating to try to find a sports bra to fit a real person--namely me. If this one works, I will get a bunch more to hold me for a while!

Friday 5 in Pictures

2011-03-04T18:53:00.000-08:00

1. Great run this morning--easy run turned into tempo just for the joy of it. The best part was seeing this sight--blooming daffodils! Spring is coming and I am going to survive another winter! Hallelujah!

2. Hubby & I headed to OMSI to see the Egypt exhibit this afternoon. It was a fun. There was a very nice mummy there as well as several interesting scans for studying. There were some "pots" that were in pieces and would go together on a medal pot. Each piece was magnetic and had to be put in the right spot to complete the puzzle. Harder than it looked, but we should have become archeologists!

3. Then we got to have our photos take with a camel! Very cool. The only thing that would have made it better was if it were a real camel somewhere exotic...

Hubby can never have a "normal" picture taken.

4. From there we headed to the Design Zone exhibit. There were a bunch of hands-on experiments. My favorite was one that you copied a photo using plastic shapes. After making the shape, you would adjust the side mirrors to creat multiples. I thought it was pretty!

5. We spent a little time looking in the gift shop before hubby had to be an astronaut. He actually would have made a great astronaut. See how enthralled he is by space.

Retirement

2011-03-03T10:31:00.000-08:00

Today I send my beloved Sauconys into forced retirement before we part on less than favorable terms. Mud caked, thin soled and well loved. Many miles have been run in these my favorite shoes yet. I can only hope that the new bring as much joy and beauty to my life. I hope the fit of the same model with feel the same as the old pair. Out with the old, in with the new.

Journaling

2011-03-02T13:41:00.000-08:00

I journal off and on about life, but my running journals have always been facts and just the facts. The when, where, how far and how fast. Recently while reading Running Within, I am beginning to focus on the mental aspect of running. In the later miles of my marathons, I begin to lose focus and the race is no longer a physical pursuit, but a mental one. I realize that to ever really succeed at longer races I need to train my mental endurance. I am now adding that information to my running log. The question remains. How do I continue to retrain my mind to the positive? How to I hold that positive mental state when I am pushing myself? How do I convince myself that I am able to do more than I think I can?

Amanda over at Runninghood opened my eyes to an entirely different type of running journal. This post in particular got me thinking. I love the creativity of adding that brain training to my journal. Increasing the positive flow so that every time I open it I remember why I run and what I want from my running. Finally, today I began my own journal. I had a Title Nine catalogue and used photos that I believed showed strength. This is not to focus on how I want to look, but how I want to be--strong and balanced. Here goes to a new adventure in running!

How do you train your brain? How do you maintain focus during long races?

Walking, Running and Weight Loss

2011-03-01T14:16:00.000-08:00

The other day hubby and I took the dogs out for a walk. When I saw walk, we don't stroll along as we have to keep up with the dogs. As we were finishing up, I realized I was working up a sweat. It was a better workout than my recumbent exercise bike. I felt different muscles working including more of a stretch in the groin due to longer strides. I wondered why I don't use walking as my cross training more often. It is easy on the joints, works muscles differently than running and I still get my heart rate up a bit. Silly that something we do regularly is overlooked as a way to recover from hard workouts and maintain fitness.

On the other side is my true love--running. It has been strange to run just to run. Heading out the door without a clear plan feels weird, but wonderful. I always give hubby a general range so he has an idea when I will be back. In the past, it was always I am running this far at about this pace and will be on this route. Running for fun becomes I am running about 4-6 miles without knowing which direction or how fast or slow until I get moving. I get started and run what I feel. Some days it turns into more of a tempo pace other times a fartlek and others just slow and easy. Sometimes I start looking toward future races, but I am not ready to change the joy I am having just yet. There are not many things that I do just for the fun of it and I think I will hang onto that feeling for a while!

And, last, but not least, weight loss. I am back to the weight I was for the Portland marathon last year, but was already up a bit then. So, I continue to be very careful about what I eat. My clothes are fitting better. I feel better. Yes, I am tired for no sugar at all. Yes, I am so hungry sometimes. Yet I keep reminding myself that hunger is never an emergency. Each time I refuse to break, I strengthen my resistence muscles!

No Training?! (and injury update)

2011-02-17T16:26:00.000-08:00

I am not training for anything right now. What can I possible be thinking? Okay, so maybe that racing costs money (including paying for staff to work in my stead) and I was injured and I am just tired.

But really, it is my weight. Back in '08, I lost 60 pounds. I kept it off until last fall, but since then I have put on 15 pounds. I stepped on the scale last Saturday morning and it clicked. I had to do something and I had to do it now! Not tomorrow, NOW! I started back on my strict diet. It is well balanced, moderate carbohydrate and very low calorie. I love it! It totally works for me. However, this diet and "training" do not mix well. Running fine, just not hard workouts or lots of miles.

For now that works for me. I can live with running for the love of running. Besides, running back at my goal weight is so much easier on my body and my spirit. Just by starting that journey back, I feel better about myself. Some say that finishing a marathon is a life changing event. For me, it was waking up on my 41st birthday and being back at the weight I was when I got married at 19. It proved to me that I could do what I set out to do. The marathon just reminded me of that fact.

P.S. Ankle update. I did see the sport's chiropractor at Back in Motion. I love that I go in and he is wearing his shirt from the Olympic trials. (Many of the professionals in this office worked in Eugene including my massage therapist.) It gives me confidence that he knows what he is talking about. It seems I had a residual injury due to a high ankle sprain the previous year. After massage, ART, Graston and taping, I am back to running without pain. Today's 4 miles were untaped and pain free! Thanks for all the advice! You all ROCK!

P.P.S. My sister read all your responses and now calls herself a runner! She ran in the rain yesterday and thought it was awesome. That certainly makes her a Runner with a capital R!!

When is a runner a runner?

2011-02-15T15:29:00.000-08:00

My sister started running recently and has worked up to 3 x 9 minutes of running and 2 minutes walking. I am so proud of her! And tagged her in a Facebook post this morning saying just that.

She responded with the following:

Thank you so much! So when can I call myself a runner? I was thinking when I can run 30 minutes straight. Do you remember that when you started I told you I didn't ever think I would be a runner?? Who knew it could be so much fun.

My response:

It is fun! I believe you can call yourself a runner now! 3 x 9/2 is a great accomplishment! I think it finally hit home that I was running down at your place (Summer '08). The day I went out and ran 20 minutes without stopping was a huge accomplishment. When I saw that on the schedule, I really wondered if I could do it. I felt like a super hero when I finished!

What do you think?
When can my sister call herself a runner?

Friday 5

2011-02-11T14:22:00.000-08:00

Five amazing things about today!

1. I get to run. I have the strength and health to be able to get out there. P.S. The strength training is really making running hills easier.

2. I don't have a headache. I have had one for several days and last night it turned into a nasty migraine. Ice packs and 2 vicodin led to a great night's sleep and not even a smidge of a rebound from the narcotic!!

3. My husband loves me. He doesn't wait around for some so-called holiday to show me. He shows me every day of the year. Hallmark can just take that!

4. My extended family. My hubby's family is great. I have never felt like I am an outsider looking in. In a few minutes, I am picking the boys up from school and they are hanging out here for a while. This is going to be exciting...

5. My new resident is doing great! He seems comfortable and transitioning quickly! Ahhh!!

Uh-oh! HELP!

2011-02-06T20:07:00.000-08:00

Help! Advice and reassurance needed.

My left ankle has been stiff for a couple of weeks. I sprained it last winter and then rolled it in November. I took really good care of it. RICE was key. KT tape was on it for several days. Everything was back to normal until the last couple of weeks when it started feeling stiff and sore. I finally decided it was referred from my heal. I decided it was probably plantar faciitis. I started icing and rolling with a golf ball. It was feeling better. Then the weird thing happened this morning. My weight was on it and I turned a quarter turn. OUCH! Quick, sharp pain. But it was gone as quickly as it arrived. After some stretching and icing, it was fine. Then this evening, I put weight on it and the sudden pain was back. And it still aches. I have it braced at the moment.

So, what do you think? Do I just need to take a couple of days off? Or should I head to the doctor?

First Race of 2011 (aka Mini Loopster Fest)

2011-02-05T14:34:00.000-08:00

My friend, Coelle, is a member of a running club up in Vancouver. Every Saturday, they have low key races. Free to members and $2 for non-members. And they don't start until 10 AM!! This week's was at Lacamas Lake with a choice of 3 or 7 miles. My plan was to head out plenty early and get 6 ish miles in then run the 3 as a fast finish for my long run of the week. What could go wrong with a plan like that?

Yeah, right... To begin, I pushed that old snooze button on the alarm waaaay too many times so I left later than planned. And it took me longer to get to the park than I expected. I parked and thought, "No problem. I can still get 4 miles before it starts." I set reached over and unlocked the car doors, set the keys on the seat and headed around to get everything ready to head out. Uhhh, oops! I didn't unlock the doors... I had just locked my keys in the car. Sigh. Pull out the phone to call Coelle. No service. Well, at least, I was wearing my running shoes. I pulled off my warm up pants and started down the trail.

My legs were heavy and sluggish. My lungs were not happy--but my inhaler was in the car. Sigh. I ran out about a mile then headed back. About a mile because my Garmin was in the car. Sigh. I stretched and waited for Coelle to arrive. She had told me that at least one other Looper was planning to be there so I kept my eyes pealed for anyone familiar. A few minutes later, I saw a woman that had to be MildSauce. I introduced myself. She is as sweet and funny as she appears in writing. Shortly, Coelle, MildSauce and I were talking and Raforken joined us. Photo op!! Raforken headed out for her 9 miles before the race began. MildSauce was doing the 7 and Coelle and I were running the 3.

The race was low key, but very well organized! The start line was behind the clock. The route headed accross a few feet of grass to an asphalt path before a hard packed trail of pea gravel. The trail was full of rollers. Coelle and I headed out quickly, but not too hard. It will be interesting to see our final time and see if the pace matches my perception. My guess is that it will not. The whole thing felt hard. I told Coelle that I was doing better than I sounded. She laughed as she was wondering. Hey, no inhaler = lots of wheezing. Normally, we talk nonstop when we run together. Not today. We were working too hard. A few words here and there were enough. I was so happy to see the turn around! Most of the return we were following a 10 yo boy. I wish I had that much energy. He would sprint up the hills then coast down. For the most part, he stayed right in front of us. He could have finished much faster if her weren't running from side to side and jumping off rocks along the way. Every time I thought we might catch him, he would sprint ahead. The distraction was nice and helped me get into a zone. I was ready to be finished. I tend to speed up on the return on out-and-back courses. We rounded the corner together and the finish line was in sight. One last push and we crossed the line together.

We headed back out to jog an easy cool down and cheered for MildSauce coming toward the finish line. We jogged our cool down--and walked some since my left ITB tightened up. Mild Sauce met up with us and we visited. There is always something to discuss with other runner! On our return to the parking lot, Corina's AAA membership was a there to unlock my car. More talking and laughing before we headed our seperate ways. It was a morning that could have ended poorly yet had a happy ending because of friends!

juanitagf, Coelle, MildSauce, Raforken

Absent from the Body...

2011-01-31T13:22:00.000-08:00

Present with the Lord.

As sad as I am to see C leave us, I am so grateful that I know the moment of her last breath she opened her eyes and saw Jesus.

Did you know...

2011-01-29T17:18:00.000-08:00

That God has a sense of humor? If you were not aware of that, I am here to tell you it is true!

I have an anxiety disorder. Most of the time it is well under control, but there are times when it starts to affect daily life. I cannot stand to have extra noise and turn the radio off in the car. I sometimes will jump out of my seat and start pacing for no apparent reason--except that I feel bugs crawling under my skin. Thank God, I have had no full blown panic attacks in a few years. They are the worst. I feel like I am dying and only want to bang my head against the wall. Anyway, this is not the point about God's sense of humor, just the back story...

The last several months, business has been pretty bad. We spent alot of time with only one or two residents. The only inquiries were for people on hospice. Don't get me wrong, I love hospice care, but it doesn't pay the bills for long. Over the last month, things were getting more and more dire as our only resident is declining. We didn't worry too much as January is normally a very busy month for community based care. Not this year. No calls. I contacted everyone I knew and many I did not seeking referrals. The stress was beginning to affect my anxiety and my ability to sleep. The bugs-under-the-skin feeling came back. I paced the house. I prayed. I tried to trust.

Hubby and I began to discuss our options. We considered the options with the business and the possibility of closing it and selling the house. Not the best option with the real estate market such as it is, but we had to consider everything. We are fortuante in that we have options. The more we talked about the options the more some sounded inviting. Close the business, sell everything and move to Hawaii. We would need to live hand to mouth in a very small place. But warm and sunny has a lot to say for it! We have family that are willing to help any way they can.

As time passed, I realized how much I love our business. I love helping people--both our residents and their families. I love the freedom it gives both of us to follow our passions. Hubby can go play golf while we are on duty. I can run mid-day. Since we started the business we have been able to travel more than ever before--Washington DC, Hawaii, St Louis, California, France. I love working with my husband. There is no one else with whom I would rather spend my days.

Wednesday afternoon was beautiful--sunny and 50 degrees. I ran my entire long run with a smile on my face. I began to realize how truly blessed I am. I have a husband I adore, a family that loves me, a career I love. I have the health and strength to run mile after mile. This life of mine was worth fighting for, yet I did not have to fight for it. I just needed to let it go, to trust God to bring what was right to pass. It was a life epiphany. I went home, relaxed and refreshed. For the first time in weeks, I slept soundly. The anxiety was gone. I had peace that God would provide however he chose whether it be residents or a sign to make a change.

Then comes God's sense of humor. After that run, I got a call. Someone I had toured 18 months earlier wanted to visit again. His father's care has gotten too much for his mom and it is time to make a change. That same afternoon came another call. A woman who had been trying to convince her dad to move from his home. He finally said it was time. Both scheduled tours on Friday. God blessed both tours. Both have choosen to move to our care home.

God is laughing with me. He was waiting for me to decide what was truly in my heart. Then he blessed far above anything I could have imagined.

Clarity

2011-01-26T22:56:00.000-08:00

Some days are like this. They start out slow with changes in plans. Then there is a turn and it all comes together. A moment of clarity brings everything back into focus. And, suddenly I remember. I remember how incredibly blessed I am. Today, that moment of clarity arrived, as it often does, in the middle of a run. The sun was shining so the planned tempo turned into LSD.

My smile grew as I felt my body find it's rhythm. Every worry, every concern drifted away. Each step reminded me of how much I have. Blessings flew through my mind as I reveled in the warm sun. The love of my husband and family surround me. A business that I love and can help others reach their potential. The ability to be able to head out for a run when the sun shines.

Every aspect of my life is blessed by God. He allows me to enjoy the life he has given me. Sometimes I become overwhelmed and the day to day struggles seem larger than the blessings. I begin to focus on those struggles and lose sight of what is true and right. Today I had 10 miles to remind me how truly blessed I am. I am refocused on those blessings. It is time to remeber the positive and leave the rest behind.

Fartlek! Hehe!

2011-01-25T13:43:00.000-08:00

Fartlek. Fartlek. Fartlek. Hehe, 'scuse me! That word always makes me giggle!

Yesterday was a glorious afternoon so I headed out about 3 for my run. The dog was as happy as I was to be out in the sun. It felt like spring! That is actually a very bad thing for me. I will now be looking for more signs of spring and it is still January. Yet that was certainly not going to keep me indoors and in denial!

I wasn't feeling the greatest so I almost switched to a close-to-home hill workout. In the end, I stuck with the plan for 15 x 1:00 hard/ 1:00 easy. After 1.5 mile warm up, I hit the lap button on the Garmin to start the program. (I love that feature! It is great to program the entire workout and just follow the beeps.) I tend to start too fast and have a hard time finishing up on the same or faster paces. I worked hard at going hard, but not too hard. Run tall and strong with a straight back.

It felt great. I can start to see the change in my stride with the inclusion of strength training to my program. I run stronger and can control my speed better. I can run harder longer before I start to slump forward. I finished the workout exhausted, but still could have managed another couple of repeats. It felt right. It felt good. I told Indy what a great job he did and was telling myself the same.

I have always hated intervals like this. Yet the more I do speed work, the more comfortable with it. And, believe it or not, I think I may actually be starting to like it. (Wow, that was a lot of qualifiers.) I feel so strong and so weak when I finish the workout. I feel like I can do anything after a hard workout.

Warm Up 1.5 mi @ 10:14

8:53, 8:50, 8:37, 8:45, 8:49, 8:13, 7:59, 8:20, 8:22, 8:20, 8:26, 8:23, 8:12, 7:48, 7:32

Cool Down 1.37 mi @ 10:40

Accentuate the Positive

2011-01-21T10:21:00.000-08:00

My motto of the day! Things are a little gloomy around here and it isn't just the weather. One of my favorite residents of all time is declining. Business is very slow. I am hanging on to the positive by a thread and it is pretty thin sometimes. I have a God who is able to bless me far beyond anything I can imagine. Today, I choose to hold onto Him and his promises!

Running with a Friend

2011-01-15T21:01:00.000-08:00

Normally, I am a solitary runner. The first two years of running, I only ran with others during races. Timing of group runs never fit my schedule or training. And I loved running alone. It was my time--a time that was all about me. I don't remember the first time I ran with someone on just a regular every day run. Yet that run opened a door in my mind. Maybe running with someone would be positive. My schedule still doesn't match group runs. However, I have begun to make running friends. And, once in a while, our schedules matched. Today was one of those days. We ran along the Columbia River in Vancouver. It was pouring rain and wind, but it was so much fun. I ran taller because she was with me. We talked about this, that and everything else. I have not enjoyed a run so much in a long time!

Success in Strength

2011-01-14T21:34:00.000-08:00

Woooohoooo! I did what I set out to do! Four, yes, four workouts of strength training in the last 2 weeks! I am really proud of myself for hanging in there--sore muscles and all. And, in those 2 weeks, I have had very successful runs. Two weeks: 2 tempos, 2 interval workouts, 2 long runs. Ahhh, it feels so good to be back. I love training. I love having a goal.

I am terrible at planning out strength training workouts so I picked up Kathy Smith's Lift Weights to Lose Weight. So far I love it. It has several workouts on the two discs. Just thought I would share something that is working for me!

Life...

2011-01-12T22:33:00.000-08:00

Just a quick update on life in my house...

1. Hubby is home! We spent the entire day together and it was wonderful!

2. I registered for the Girlfriend's Half in October. It will be my first all women's race and I am really excited. There are a number of Loopers running it for Lady Loopfest 2011.

3. A new resident moved in on Monday. He has declined a lot since I first met him on Saturday. He will probably not live more than a few more days. Sigh...

4. I did my long run outside last Friday and my cough is back. Yep, I am relegated to the treadmill until spring. I will resign myself to that. Of course, I planned a pyramid elevation workout on Monday and the elevation broke. No more hill work on the 'mill. Rats! That was one way to change up the workouts and make the time go faster.

5. Did I mention my hubby is home?! I missed him soooo much!

Trust

2011-01-09T11:00:00.000-08:00

Running a small business can be challenging. With many out of work, families are caring for loved ones at home. Retirement funds have lost value so people are trying other solutions for care. This leads to a slow down all across community-based care facilities. That being said all facilities are doing all they can to keep residents longer and provide more care than previously thought possible. All this leads to fewer residents changing placements.

The greatest number of referrals we have received lately are people on hospice with a short life expectancy. I do love caring for people in the last days of their lives. I know that we do an amazing job of supporting the resident and their loved ones. The amount of resident turnover this brings is hard on the bank account. And my staff have little consistency of scheduled hours with the changes. I begin to worry when our census gets so low. I begin to think of what the options are if we have no residents for long and cannot continue the business.

Yet, when the situation becomes more difficult, we get a call. Someone needs a place to live. A family is at the end of their endurance and needs help. Often, within a few days, there is a new resident in our home. When this happens, I am reminded again of God's provision. I need to do a better job of holding onto the belief that God will provide.

Psalm 34:8-10

Taste and see that the Lord is good.

Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!

Fear the Lord, you his godly people,

for those who fear him will have all they need.

Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry,

but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing.

Seriously?!

2011-01-07T21:12:00.000-08:00

How can adding strength training back into a routine make one more sore than running a marathon? I am having more difficulty going down stairs today than after any of my marathons! Yesterday, I added squats and lunges back into the routine. Today I ran 6 miles that felt more like 26 when I finished! I just keep reminding myself that if I keep up with it I will be a better, stronger runner. And, if I keep it up, I won't be this sore again...

I'm BACK, baby!

2011-01-03T21:27:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh, tonight was awesome! I had my first hard workout scheduled. I have been taking it easy making sure I was really and truly well. Today has been strange. I put my husband on a plane to Hawaii and then had the whole day completely to myself. That just NEVER happens. I did this and that and piddled the day away until it was dark. I nearly let it slide. But I did it! Wooohooo!

I scheduled hill repeats. After a 20 minute warm up on the dreadmill, I started in with 5 x 2 minutes at 5% grade with a 2 minute recovery at 1.5%. (My 7ish year old 'mill doesn't get lower that that anymore.) I kept the speed the same throughout. That way the hills were a pretty tough effort. It felt awesome! I loved working hard again! The sweat was dripping and with it so much of my frustration of the last 6 weeks. Ahhh!

P.S. Yes, my husband is in Hawaii until next Tuesday night without me. This is his Christmas gift. He is spending Thursday until Sunday volunteering for the PGA tournament. His sister works at the Kapalua Golf Resort and lives within walking distance of the course. He will be running a laser at the 15th green. He will mark the balls with the laser which will give the distance to the hole. This allows the commentators to share that information. He is really excited and I am excited for him. Although, I am a little jealous, too...

Bagels and Memories

2010-12-30T15:16:00.000-08:00

Spreading cream cheese on a toasted bagel. That did it. It brought back a memory of my mom. Weird how different things can bring to mind things that are buried. It happened sometime when I was in junior high or high school. I only remember that because we were living up Beaver Creek. (That place brings volumes of some of my best memories.) Must have been a Saturday when I wandered into the kitchen. Mom was surreptitiously facing the toaster. Her hands were busy, but that wasn’t unusual, her hands were always busy. It seemed she didn’t want me to see what she was doing. Of course, that made me want to know more. Peeking over her shoulder, I could see her sprinkling brown sugar over cream cheese. Hmmm, that looked good. She sighed and told me about her favorite quick treat. Toasted bagel with cream cheese and brown sugar then warmed a bit in the microwave. She let me have a bite. Wow! It was so yummy! Warm sweet, tart goodness—almost a caramel roll without the work. One more wonderful memory of my amazing mom.

Time Out

2010-12-29T21:18:00.000-08:00

I took a time out today--a time out from my regular life. Instead of caring for others, I spent the day with my sister getting pampered. December of 2009, I planned to take her for a pedicure. It never happened. When her birthday rolled around this year, it was time to act. Her kids are finally old enough to be left home alone for a while so we jumped at the chance. On the agenda was a pedicure and lunch. It was so nice to just hang out with her. We had no one else to worry about or care for.

I miss her. We get so busy with our lives that we don't get to see each other often. It is sad that we do that when we grow up. It is even harder when we live so far from the rest of the family. With siblings in SoCal, Seattle, northern Minnesota, Seattle and South Carolina, we see each other so seldom. I am actually thankful for Facebook. I know more about what is happening in their and their children's lives than ever before. I know the mundane details that they share. There is a joy in knowing the bits and pieces of their lives like when we were children.

As a Runner

2010-12-28T17:31:00.000-08:00

In my dreams, I... can run for hours without tiring.

My favorite book is... my Bible—lots about running races in it!

My favorite movie is... I would like to say Chariots of Fire as Eric Liddell is my hero for running and for life, but the movie was slooooooow. So, really, Running the Sahara is my favorite.

My breakthrough was... The first time I broke an hour in a 10k. I had only started running again 5 months earlier. It was when I crossed the finish line in 59:01 that I felt like a runner!

My favorite run is... a run with purpose especially a long steady run or a hard tempo. I heart tempo runs!

My favorite season to run is... Fall—the weather cools, but the sun still shines in Oregon.

My favorite distance is... Hmmm, probably the ~~half~~ pikermi, but I do like the challenge of the marathon. Then, of course, I do want to do an ultra someday…

My favorite race is... the Wildwood Trail Trial. It was the first race I ever did with my sister-in-law the first time I started running. I never treat it as a race, but enjoy the trails and being outdoors.

I started running because of... fatness. Seriously, I looked like Jabba the Hut. I had lost some weight and needed to exercise to keep it off. I had run in the past and loved it. It was natural for me to try it again.

My reason to keep running is... I love it. I love the pure motion. It feels like freedom. And there is the ~~food~~ dessert.

I knew I was a runner for life when... I wanted to keep running after my first marathon. I was afraid that I would quit after that, but all I wanted to do was get back out there!

I am most scared of... losing the joy I feel when running.

My main goal as a runner is... run forever or at least until the day I die—probably in the middle of a run at age 99!

So, how about you?

Hat Tip to MsRitz!

Boredom...

2010-12-28T15:37:00.000-08:00

Just finished making several calls and emails. I need to find more residents. I am bored out of my mind! Imagine being tied to being home without being able to leave. Yet only one person keeps you there and that person is often sleeping. There is very little laundry or cleaning that needs done. Paperwork is near to nothing as only one resident leaves few chart notes and such. You cannot even take a walk with the wheelchair as the days are so wet and miserable. Such is my current life. I know it sounds great to many, but most could only handle it for a short time before ennui sets in. Hopefully, soon, families will be looking for a place for mom or dad to be warm and safe!

On a running note: I went out in the rain this afternoon! It may not have been the smartest idea, but this cold seems to be staying in my head. I am saddened to see how much fitness I have lost. Between my lethargy post marathon and my illnessses, I had a hard time on a short loop today. The last hill was tough. Sort of like when I first finished the C25K. Except I was able to do it without walking. Still it was soooo slow and tough. However, I am not complaining too much as I am running again. Let us hope this one sticks for a while!

Away in a Manger

2010-12-25T17:49:00.000-08:00

Away in a manger, no crib for a bed,

the little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head.

The stars in the sky looked down where he lay,

the little Lord Jesus, asleep on the hay.

The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes,

but little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes;

I love thee, Lord Jesus, look down from the sky

and stay by my cradle till morning is nigh.

Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask thee to stay

close by me forever, and love me, I pray;

bless all the dear children in thy tender care,

and fit us for heaven to live with thee there.

2010 Races in Review

2010-12-21T12:43:00.000-08:00

04/03/10 Vernonia Pikermi (2:06:32)

This was a completely fun, tough and amazing race. The plan was to run it at PMP as a tune up for the Eugene Marathon. It rained and it snowed. It was on asphalt, gravel and dirt trail. The slush was slick and the puddles were ankle deep. On top of everything, it ended on a very steep hill. All in all, it was CRAZY FUN! Yes, I am planning to do it again this year!

05/02/10 Eugene Marathon (PR - 4:16:02)

A glorious day for a marathon. It was cold and sunny. Everything was coming together until I came apart. Wel, part of me did anyway... Several porta-potty stops and GI distress put me off pace late in the race. However, my splits were amazing except for those stops. I was on my way to a 4:06ish marathon, but anything can happen on race day. The best thing was running into Hayward field and feeling the soft track under my feet. It was great and I hope to do this one again--maybe for that sub-4 I know I have in me!

06/05/10 Sherwood Run for the Roses 5k (PR - 26:23 - 40-49 Age Group Winner!)

The first race I have done without anyone along to watch or run. I met NattyBumpo there through my Team Pikermi hoodie. I was super nervous about doing a 5k. I toed the line a couple of rows back and spent the first half mile dodging slower runners and walkers. I had no idea I should have started closer to the front! But it did keep me from going out too fast. I ended up passing a lot of people and only was passed by a couple of men. I felt like I was going to DIE the entire race! My splits were perfect! (8:26, 8:21, 8:18, 7:23) And I ended up the 4th woman and first in my age group! It was a HUGE confidence booster!

07/25/10 Bowerman 5k (26:36)

It was an evening race and it was HOT--around 80 degrees! It was a two loop course on the Nike Worldheadquarters and lots of superfast people were participating. I jogged one loop for a warm up then did my drills. I really was hoping for a new PR with all the training I had been doing. In the first half mile my ITB started feeling tight. Then, half through the second loop, my asthma gave me fits. My breathing was ragged and I was wheezing so much I got asked if I was okay...sigh...not a good sign. My coach was at the corner when I turned in toward the finish. I started to kick too soon and really died. I did survive the race. I learned some new things about myself and running late in the day and the heat. Drink a lot, then drink more! I was so disappointed, but my coach brought me back to reality that I nearly PRed in much tougher conditions. Okay, I can live with that.

07/28/10 Mt. Tabor Doggie Challenge 8k/5k with my doggie! (44:21)

The first race ever with my dog. I went to it planning to take it as a tempo. Another evening race on a hot day. Fortunately, the course was all in shade. Unfortunately, the course was on the side of Mount Tabor... meaning hills, big hills... My splits showed it--8:54, 8:15, 9:32, 9:30, 8:38. Yet it was so much fun! Indy was in heaven and had impecable dog manners. He would slow at times to see what dog was coming behind. We did stop at a couple of water stations and dumped water on him as he refuses to drink when we run. I was awarded a trophy for the 3rd masters female. But on review of the online results, I was actually about the 5th. I am keeping the award as I ran with a dog and they did not! To top off a great evening, I was able to spend time with my running friend, Corina!

08/27/10 Hood to Coast 2010 (Leg 6: 7.42/1:04:32, Leg 18: 4.15/41:04, Leg 30: 5.35/46:43)

Ever since my sistee-in-law ran the Hood to Coast more than 20 years ago, I have wanted to be a part of a team. I was so excited when I was invited to join team Wii Not Fit with Corina. A relay of 196 miles, stinky people, no sleep--what could be more fun! And it was a BLAST! I ran so much better than I expected. I loved the team comraderie and encouragement. The night was hard. I have to admit, I began to wonder if I was going to make my second run. I was queasy and faint. Corina waited with me at the transition so I could sit, wrapped in a blanket, until it was time to go. Yet once I started running, everything came together. I said it was a once time race for me. But writing this, months later, makes me wonder...hmmm...wonder it there is a team needing a runner next year...

10/10/10 Portland Marathon (4:34:56)

What could have been the worst marathon, turned into the most fun! Rain, rain and more rain. My training had not gone as planned and with the rain, I decided to relax and have some fun. I started slow and ended up joining the 4:15 pace group. Everything felt great and I thought maybe I could still PR. Then the old GI issue reared it's ugly head! It wasn't as bad as Eugene, but I lost the pace group and couldn't catch them. I just talked to random runners. The comraderie was great as we all commisterated about the weather. I crossed the finish line with my slowest time, but felt awesome! It was such a fun race. And my husband had a bag of my dry clothes for me to change into to watch for my nephew to finish!

Saved by His Grace

2010-12-19T10:31:00.000-08:00

But suppose we seek to be made right with God through faith in Christ and then we are found guilty because we have abandoned the law. Would that mean Christ has led us into sin? Absolutely not! Rather, I am a sinner if I rebuild the old system of law I already tore down.

For when I tried to keep the law, it condemned me. So I died to the law—I stopped trying to meet all its requirements—so that I might live for God. My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not treat the grace of God as meaningless. For if keeping the law could make us right with God, then there was no need for Christ to die. (Galations 2:17-21, NLT)

I visited my sister this week and we tend to have deep conversations while she is trimming my hair. Strange, but true. She was telling me about a youth group and Bible study. The implied rules of behavior are very strict. If those rules are not followed, the rule breaker is publicly shamed. The shame was put in context of a joke, but the teen was hurt by the "joke."

The idea of following rules is not new to me. My perception of Chrisitanity was a teen was such that we were saved by grace, but I still needed to be perfect to be a "good" Christian. At one time, I decided that if we were to tithe our monies maybe I needed to tithe everything. So I figured out that 10% of a day was 2 hours 10 minutes. I needed to tithe my time and so 2:10 of every day was to be spent reading the Bible and praying. I got up at 5 am so I wouldn't run out of time. I often found myself dozing and would blame myself for not being "good" enough to stay focused. This only lasted a short time before the fatigue was overwhelming. I ended it with a great deal of shame and frustration. I felt I had failed Christ.

It was years before I began to see that it is grace that allows me to be my imperfect self and still be Christ's child. The grace of God offers us salvation. The grace of God allows us to continue to be saved without needing to be sinless. Which is a very good thing as there is no way I could remain sinless.

God saved you by his GRACE when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. (Eph. 2:8, NLT)

Sunshine Run!

2010-12-16T13:08:00.000-08:00

It wan't long. It wasn't fast. Yet it was a run. I woke up this morning planning to get on the treadmill. But the sun was shining. How could I even consider the dreadmill when there was sunshine? Off we (Indiana Jones & I) went to Summerlake Park. The park has a path that can be made a figure 8 for 1 mile. The thought was that I would never be too far from the car if I ran into trouble. The goal was for up to 4 miles, but at least 2. The first 2 went great, but about a third of the way into the 3 mile my knee hurt. Definitely the outside leading me to think my ITB. Stretching did not improve the situation so I decided enough was enough. Hey, it was 2.5 miles. I felt great. Indy loved every minute of it. Life was good!

I did wear a buff covering my nose and mouth. The hope is that the warmer air will keep me from coughing too bad the rest of the day. We shall see...

I Ran!

2010-12-10T16:56:00.000-08:00

Wooohooo! I did. Really. I headed downstairs this morning after I had things settled upstairs. I started to head to the shower and had a thought--why not try 5 minutes on the treadmill. I hate my treadmill. Really. But I know it is the only way I can get back to running right now. Cold outdoor air would be very unfriendly to my lungs. So, I can deal.

I put on my gear and grabbed my mp3 player. I really need some music for the dreadmill! I started very slow. Slower than I have run since I started back up. It felt pretty good. Breathing: Good. Coughing: None. Sweet! After a couple of minutes, I decided to go for 10 minutes. I got to 10 and started for 15. When I got to 20 minutes, I stopped. No sense pushing too much. I could have gone longer. It was so encouraging. I was so worried that I had lost so much fitness that I would need to have walk breaks. Instead I could have kept on running. I started pushing a little more toward the last 5 minutes to see how it would go. I could feel a bit of wheezing, but it stopped as soon as I stopped.

So, now I have a bit of a cough, but no more than last evening. After more than 2 months of feeling ambivilant about running, I am now excited to go--even if it is on the treadmill for a while!

Santa came early!

2010-12-09T15:32:00.000-08:00

When I was first married, 23 years ago, my mother-in-law gave me a couple of pieces of advice. First, if you don't want to do something forever, don't do it the first time. Case in point: Haircuts. I did it once and am still doing it. I hated cutting his hair, but now just buzz it so it isn't so bad. The second piece of advice was that men are often not very good at buying gifts. She always put something under the tree for herself from Santa. She got what she wanted and everyone was happy! I took that advice to heart and my husband has been very happy. He HATES shopping! Most of the time I don't even put it under the tree.

My gift from Santa arrived today! I have been wanting a nice way to hang my running medals. I meet someone on the Loop forums that had a great design and his flyers were in the goody bags at the Eugene Marathon. I have to admit, I coveted them. Pretty, shiny, sturdy. It was so nice of Santa to believe I was good enough for one! If you are interested in one they have many designs and will customize, too! Check them out at Allied Medal Displays.

On a bright note, looking at it makes me want to add more medals. I am so ready to run again! I finish this round of meds tomorrow. I am feeling good, but still have some cough. The cough is lighter though and doesn't completely send me into spasms. I hope to hop on my treadmill (sigh) early next week and give it a shot! Woooohoooo!

Bronchitis = 1, Antibiotics = 0

2010-12-04T21:24:00.000-08:00

I finished my antibiotics on Monday and was feeling much better. At the time, I thought I would try running on the treadmill on Thursday or Friday. By Thursday, I was feeling worse again. Late Friday afternoon, I could barely talk without starting a coughing fit again. It was so frustrating!

I headed back to the doctor this morning. In all that time there has been no change in my lungs. No improvement and, fortunately, no worse. Now I have round 2 of antibiotics and a course fo steriods to try to get my lungs healthy. Another 7 days and hopefully I will be feeling better...please!

For 6 weeks after my last marathon, I didn't want to run. Running was a job and took too much effort. Even when I got back to it regularly, it took so much effort to make that first step. Then I got sick. Now I cannot run. Now I desparately want to run. Guess this is one way to get my groove back.

A Plan

2010-11-30T22:26:00.000-08:00

Okay, today it happened. I finally exercised. So it wasn't a run, not yet anyway, but still it got my heart rate up. I decided yesterday that I had to get my exercise bike to a location. A location where I might actually use it. I moved a few things around, dusted, mopped. Then my forebearing husband helped me move it upstairs. Now I can use it during the day when things are quiet around here. Hopefully, that will help me keep some of my fitness until I am running again.

Once my cough is gone, I will hit the treadmill until I get back to speed. I have a plan. This is the way to get me motivated. I like a plan. A plan helps me to focus and it helps me to relax. A plan gives me something to focus on other than the things causing me stress.

On another hand, I am tired. We have had 3 deaths in the last 5 weeks. Even though each person was in our home only a short time, it takes a piece of me. It isn't all about all the work and the long nights. It is about the mental fatigue. Trying to discern what is needed and to anticipate the need right before so I can be ready. It is an honor to be a part of people's last moments, but I think it takes a toll on the living. Even someone who is not emotionally envolved. I need running. It is cheaper than therapy!

Friday 5

2010-11-26T21:31:00.000-08:00

Sleeping late.

A simple afternoon with family.

A Nap.

Dog's warm welcome home after said afternoon.

Awesome staff.

And all these really happened today!

One of These Days

2010-11-26T21:16:00.000-08:00

Just as I was getting back into running, it happened. The motivation is gone and when it returns, it happens. It started with a simple headache, then came the sinus pain and the sore throat. The worst was yet to come. The cough. I started my inhalers and cough syrup. If I jump on it, I can usually keep it to a simple cold. Unfortunately, this time was not simple. Simple cold went to bronchitis very quickly. Sigh. I am feeling better thanks to antibiotics and perscription cough syrup. Hopefully, I can get back on the roads soon! When I cannot run, it is all I really want to do...

Surrounded

2010-11-25T09:52:00.000-08:00

The last few days, I have been wondering how to put into words how grateful I am. The way to express my gratitude for my blessings is beyond me. I am surrounded by life and death. It takes away the physical things and brings to light the intangible. My heart is so full that I cannot describe the deepest emotions of gratefulness within. Every day I am blessed beyond measure from the smallest detail to the greatest treasure. The people around me are sent by God. Family, friends and new aquaintances are gifts. Each sunbreak, each snowflake and even every raindrop are gifts from God. Each have a purpose and give a reason for appreciation. Today, and every day, I am blessed with treasures. It is my duty to appreciate them.

John 14:1-4

2010-11-21T09:35:00.000-08:00

"Don't let this throw you. You trust God, don't you? Trust me. There is plenty of room for you in my Father's home. If that weren't so, would I have told you that I'm on my way to get a room ready for you? And if I'm on my way to get your room ready, I'll come back and get you so you can live where I live. And you already know the road I'm taking." (The Message)

This passage bring so much hope. I am not long in this world. I know where I am going. I know who will meet me. I cannot wait for that day when I see him in the clouds and he calls my name. There will be no hesitation. I will follow.

Always Together

2010-11-20T19:59:00.000-08:00

Early this afternoon, I approached her and said we were going to go to her husband’s service. She looked a little surprised then said, "Oh, yes. We need to do that." I don't know if she subconsciously knew that it was coming or she did not understand exactly what I was saying. Her realization that he is gone comes and goes. Fortunately, for her, it is mostly gone. She wanted to make sure she looked okay. I told her she looked beautiful and she waved her hand at me. "You look beautiful," she replied with an emphasis on you. That may be just a saying, but I will take it where I can get it and thanked her.

Moments later, we were loaded in the Jeep and we were off to the funeral home. During the ride, we talked about her family. I told her they were all going to be there and support her. She held my hand and said, "Don't you leave me." I told her I would be close. She patted my hand and closed her eyes.

Her family was there to greet her--children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, nieces, nephews. She was gracious and greeted many. She loves her family and her eyes sparkle. She grasps hands and gives kisses. She is the family matron and it is her due. You can see how they love her. The years of love are bright as unshed tears bring a shine to many eyes. The sadness reveals the love they have for her as they view her frailty. Many realize that she will not be far behind. Maybe she realizes it as well.

The service is full of praise for her husband of 67 years. He was a man of strength and gentleness. He loved his family above all. Memories slide by that show pieces of his life. Her head is raised and her eldest daughter describes the photos. It makes no difference if she can see them. She knows him. She sees his face every time she closes her eyes. She knows every memory. She feels him at her side as he has been for many years.

She dozes the short distance to the cemetery. Grieving is tiring. Pain is fatiguing. Yet she holds on. The next generation brings him to her. He wrapped in fragrant wood. She swaddled in blankets. They are side by side once again. A pink rosary held in her hand then shared with her husband. Tears flow around her as she is serene. The cold begins to seep through the blankets and we move to leave. Again her family surrounds her. Young voices telling her they love her. This is for them, not for her. Her family needs to say the words. They need her to know. She knows. She always will.

Now she sleeps. A deep sleep. She may dream of those memories when they were young. She may dream of dancing as they were old. It matters not. She has him with her. She always will.

Friday 5

2010-11-19T17:49:00.000-08:00

1. Cold Medicine--even though I am NOT sick!

2. Fleece. Warm, cozy, comfortable.

3. DVRs. Watching programs on my own schedule without commercials!

4. Powell's Book Store. Rows and rows of books. 'Nuff said!

5. Fuzzy socks. See description for fleece above.

Finally

2010-11-17T21:26:00.000-08:00

It has been far too long since my last blog! We returned home from Paris on Tuesday the 8th. Life got busy so I put off any writing. Now, here I am. Back to writing and finally back to running! I paid for my running hiatus. The cold weather and lack of hard workouts have cost me some fitness. It is going to take some time to get back at it. Yet it feels so good to want to run again!

Paris was amazing! I love history and old buildings. I certainly got both! We spent 2 days in the Loire valley visiting chateaus. One day, we traveled to Normandy and visited Point du Hoc, Omaha beach and the American cemetary. That was an incredibly moving time. The other days, Jeff & I walked miles around Paris. We visited popular sites and happened on little out of the way places. We ate crepes from stree vendors and climbed millions of steps. We went to bed late and got up early.

It wasn't until Sunday morning that I finally got out for a run. The Seine was just through a park from our apartment. I headed out before anyone else was awake. I had to watch my step as the path was cobblestones. It was wonderful to run with views of Notre Dame and the Louvre. I saw a few other runners and fishermen. I heard the word "touristique" a couple of times. I didn't care. I was a tourist. It didn't matter as I was reveling in the pure enjoyment of history and running. Two of my favorite things!

Just a few photos of our trip to share!

Morning run along the Seine with Notre Dame in the background

Chateau de Chambord

Waiting in line to go up the Eiffel Tower

Presenting Notre Dame

The bell tower of Notre Dame

Royal Fortress in Chinon

Musing, Missing

2010-10-27T23:49:00.000-07:00

It is nearly midnight. The alarm sounds in just 3.5 hours. I cannot sleep. Excitement, yes. But something more. As I laid in bed, my mind started going. The last time I traveled out of the country, it was in 2003. I was catching an early morning flight to Minneapolis. There my mom, sisters and I would travel to Holland. It was my mom's dream. For 8 days, we laughed and shopped and admired tulips. We visited the town where my ancestors were born and raised. It was truly amazing.

Tomorrow, I travel again. It is an early morning flight. This time to Paris. Never a dream to visit, but the opportunity arose and we grasped it with both hands. It will be amazing. But it will be different. I will see it with my husband this time. An experience we will share for the rest of our life together.

Yet, inside, I miss my mom. I am sentimental, sometimes overly so. It feels strange to be doing this without her . Not that she would go, but that she would revel in my opportunity. She would want to hear every detail, see every photo. She would travel through me. I cannot share this with her. Yet she still goes. She travels within me. The piece of her that is me will see every raindrop as part of a rainbow, view every brush stroke as a masterpiece, note every detail as the part of a greater plan. That comforts me. She is me and I am her. And together we travel this world. Enjoy Paris, Mom. I know I will.

Official Race Pictures

2010-10-25T14:57:00.000-07:00

Really I wasn't planning on purchasing the pictures from the Portland Marathon this year. But when I looked at them, I had to get them. The pouring rain and the smile on my face throughout made it important.

The start. More garbage bags were destroyed for this than in a week in all of Oregon...

The drums are just after the start. It is the best entertainment and gets the adrenaline pumping even more!

The St John's Bridge at mile 17 is a highlight of the race. The only unfortunate part is the hill to get to it.

My friend, Liz, saw me at mile 20 and ran about a mile with me. It was awesome to have a runner that knew exactly what to say for encouragement! I don't think she ever runs as slow as that mile. She has a 3:17 marathon and is registered for Boston 2011!

Ctossing the Broadway Bri8dge is the sign that you are getting close!

Coming to the finish!

I love this shot! Big smile, flying feet! And when full size, my Garmin has my official time on it--04:34:56. Not my fastest marathon, but a great one with comraderie and fun.

Portland Marathon 2010 Finisher! It was quite an experience to run 26.2 miles in the rain!

Psalm 51

2010-10-24T08:54:00.000-07:00

For the choir director: A psalm of David, regarding the time Nathan the prophet came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
blot out the stain of my sins.
2 Wash me clean from my guilt.
Purify me from my sin.
3 For I recognize my rebellion;
it haunts me day and night.
4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say,
and your judgment against me is just.
5 For I was born a sinner—
yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
6 But you desire honesty from the womb,
teaching me wisdom even there.
7 Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Oh, give me back my joy again;
you have broken me—
now let me rejoice.
9 Don’t keep looking at my sins.
Remove the stain of my guilt.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.
11 Do not banish me from your presence,
and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and make me willing to obey you.
13 Then I will teach your ways to rebels,
and they will return to you.
14 Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;
then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.
15 Unseal my lips, O Lord,
that my mouth may praise you.
16 You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
You do not want a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
18 Look with favor on Zion and help her;
rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will be pleased with sacrifices offered in the right spirit—
with burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings.
Then bulls will again be sacrificed on your altar.

I had the honor of supporting a family this week while their mom left this world. It was one of the sweetest experiences. When I called, there was no hesitation. Within minutes all had arrived to be with their mom. The next few hours were filled with sharing, singing hymns and reading scripture. This passage was one of those read. The mom passed early in the morning with her daughters surrounding her. They will miss her deeply, but they have hope. The hope that she is in the arms of God. The hope that they shall be with her again. That is the greatest blessing in life.

Friday 5

2010-10-22T20:43:00.000-07:00

A warm puppy sleeping on my lap

An unexpectedly sunny day

A walk with my best friend

Dinner with family that are also friends

Hope. "While we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ." Titus 2:13

This is getting ridiculous...

2010-10-20T15:57:00.000-07:00

Finally, at 3 this afternoon, I got my running clothes on to head out for an easy 6. I check in on my new resident to get her anything she needs before I leave. We take care of things. Then she feels queasy. Suddenly it is more than queasy. Oh, boy. I kick into high gear and kick off my shoes. It is going to be awhile before I can leave. After putting off running all day. After not feeling the desire to run. Now I am desperate to get out there on a beautiful fall day. And I can't. Sigh.

I am struggling to get back the desire to run. My last marathons have left me wanting more. I wanted to get out and run immediately. I had to make myself wait until my soreness was gone. This time, I can hardly get myself off the sofa much less out the door. I have a schedule on the fridge. I have a race planned in December with a friend. I am looking forward to running some Pikermis and getting some serious PRs. Yet there is a huge limit to my motivation. Sigh. Maybe I should have some ice cream. Double sigh.

I Ran--Finally

2010-10-18T20:44:00.000-07:00

I ran tonight. It was the first time since the marathon. I don't run until my soreness is gone. And that was on Saturday, but then life got really busy. So the planned runs over the weekend didn't materialize. Today I had a hard time getting myself out the door. It wasn't until after 5 that I got my rear in gear and headed out. I just went out the door and ran. I had no plan of where and how long. Just run to remember how much I love it. Running did not let me down. My fresh legs carried me quickly down the path. The sky was beautiful. The colors were amazing. So often in the PNW the rain drops leaves before we really enjoy the colors. This year the cool, clear weather--other than for the marathon--has allowed us to revel in the golds and oranges. An easy run became a bit of a tempo as my enthusiasm grew. My love of running returned with each footfall.

Psalm 1

2010-10-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

1 Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers.

2 But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night.

3 They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do.

4 But not the wicked! They are like worthless chaff, scattered by the wind.

5 They will be condemned at the time of judgment. Sinners will have no place among the godly.

6 For the Lord watches over the path of the godly, but the path of the wicked leads to destruction.

This is one of the passages I remember most from school. I can still quote it in the King James version. I think about it often. When I have trouble sleeping, I quote it. When a run gets tough, I repeat it. The second verse reminds me of why I do this--to delight in God's word. It is a great word--delight. A high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture. Incredible! I wish I truly delighted in God's word so I would want it to be at the forefront of my mind day and night. Maybe someday...

Friday 5

2010-10-15T16:59:00.000-07:00

Sunny, fall weather. I love the cool sunny days of fall!

Fast move-ins. I got a call this afternoon for an assessment and the resident moves in tomorrow morning. Ahhhh! I love being the one to make the decision!

No curb showers. You may not understand, but these make my job so much easier! I love my remodeled bathroom. I love that I can move a wheelchair into the shower for transfers.

Wifi. I sit on my sofa and blog. 'Nuff said!

Jeff's French Toast! Jeff made french toast for lunch today. Thick slices of bread with swirls of maple and powdered sugar. And, of course, nice, crisp bacon!

I am a Violet

2010-10-13T16:23:00.000-07:00

I am a
Violet

What Flower
Are You?

"You have a shy personality. You tend to hesitate before trying new things or meeting new people. But once people get to know you, you open up and show the world what you are really all about."

Seven Things

2010-10-13T11:18:00.000-07:00

I have been tagged. I hereby agree to accept the tag and list 7 things about myself that you may or may not know.

Here's the rules:
1. Thanks and link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award to other bloggers.

Thank you, ERG, for caring enough to tag me. Tears flood my eyes as I count my blessing at the tag. Okay, whatever, moving on... (Sorry, sarcasm is genetic and I got a double dose. Really I don't mind the tag...)

I am a Christian. I believe in the Trinity and that God sent his son, Jesus, to live on this earth and die in my place so that I may live with him one day. I confess with my mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord. I believe that, when Jesus returned to God's right hand, God sent his Holy Spirit to live within everyone who believes in him. I believe that one day Christ will return and take those that believe to Heaven to live with him. I believe in God's amazing grace and mercy. I believe that anyone who believes in their heart and confesses with their mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord is forgiven.
I am blessed with an amazing family. My mother was my hero. My dad truly cared and could do anything. As the 6th of 7 children, I always had someone to tease or with whom to fight. And I did both often. Today, I know that I can count on my siblings for anything!
I am married to my best friend for 23 years. Most of those years have been happy. Some were so-so and a couple were really tough. But we said, "I do." When we made that promise to each other, we knew that there was not another option. Although we joke about having enough life insurance so if one of us knocks the other off we can move to someplace warm and tropical. Such is our life of laughter!
I have struggled with depression for years. Low level depression started before I was a teenager. It continued to get worse until I was in my late 20s. Then I hit bottom, I no longer cared if suicide was moral or not. I wanted an out. I wanted it to look like an accident so no one would know. My husband and my mom saved my life. They found a way to help me. I owe my husband my life for making that phone call. There remain some ups and downs, but nothing like before.
In school, I hated math. I didn't get it. Everytime I opened my math book, I would have a little panic attack. Now I love stats and most numbers--except paying bills, but that is another story entirely! I keep every running stat--every mile, every split, every route.
I love my job and love being self employed. However, I would rather be living in a yurt on a beach in Hawaii with nothing to worry about but running, swimming and sun bathing. Guess that isn't too much different than most people...
Although most of these are serious, I am not terribly serious. I love laughing and joking. I love sarcasm. I love my husband's dry humor. I don't love the Three Stooges.

Review: Portland Marthon 2010

2010-10-12T11:27:00.000-07:00

Positives:

1. Volunteers are always amazing including my sister and niece on garbage patrol!
2 The spectators standing in the rain for hours!
3. Bands, especially the drums at the start!
4. The rain actually increased comraderie among runners near me! Runners love to commiserate!
5. Water stations were often and well organized. Volunteers kept the way clear.

Negatives:
1. Lack of signage for corrals.
2. Plastic cups at aide stations. What is up with that again this year?
3. The course change in the first 3 miles. More corners made it hard to run tangents and trying to run tangent led to more puddles.
4. Normally, I love the out and back for watching the other runners. This year it was treacherous due to the rain and slippery tracks.

Overall:
I love the Portland Marathon. The organization is superb in most areas. The volunteers and spectator make up for any lack in organization. When I do another marathon, Portland will be near the top of my list. The size is great with lots of people to run, but not so many that you can't get room to move.

Bragging Rights aka Portland Marathon 2010 RR

2010-10-11T22:34:00.000-07:00

As the week wore on, the weather forecast continued to call for rain. It started with a 40% chance, then 60%, then 80%. By Saturday, the forecast was for 100% chance of rain changing to showers in the afternoon. At this point, I allowed all expectations for a specific time go. Training had not gone as well as I would have liked. The weather was not condusive to great running. It was time to relax and just enjoy running a marathon with other super crazy people.

Sunday morning dawned--kind of. It was dark and wet at 5 am. I stood outside before making the final clothing choice. It was warm and wet. I went with a singlet, but chose light weight capri tights. Wearing tights was the best decision I made all day! By 6, we were headed downtown. Jeff dropped me off near the start area and I headed to coral C. I had my throw away sweatshirt, gloves and rain poncho. I visited with a runner from New Jersy and a couple from Vancouver BC to pass the time. Everyone seemed to have a sense of humor about the diluge until the wind picked up. Unfortunately, I had already removed my sweatshirt. Brrr! and then we were off!

It was dark and the rain continued to fall. I crossed the start line and fell into a slow, easy rhythm quickly. The gray skies kept me moving slowly as I tried to avoid puddles and keep my feet dry as long as possible. I love the first bit of a marathon. The sounds and sights. The cheers of runners and spectators alike. The surge of adrenaline. The sound was different this year. There was a constant squeak and slip of ponchos and garbage bags. It felt strange to feel plastic around me as I ran. My plan was to toss it when I warmed up. I did about mile 3, but I saw many finish still wearing theirs.

With the change of course, there were many more corners in the first 3 miles. I ran horrible tangents. That and to cut corners would mean hitting more puddles. I checked my pace and was going slower than I felt. About mile 7, I saw the 4:15 pace group. They were talking and laughing. I wanted some of that encouragement and asked if I could join them. I talked with Yolanda and Jen. Both were from the Portland area. It was nice to have conversation. I was feeling good. I would have like to be moving faster, but I was having fun. Everyone was comparing how wet they were and time was flying by. There was no way to avoid puddles anymore. Shoes squished and sloshed with every step. I hung in with them until about mile 15. I had to stop. My GI was not too bad, but it was talking back at me. I could see the bright red lizard ahead when I came out, but never quite caught them.

A bit later, I saw a beautiful red Jeep to the side of the road. Last year, I was alone on this section. Spectators are not encouraged to be in this area for safety. It was long and hard. I told Jeff that this would be a wonderful place to see him. And there he was! I gave him a kiss, told him I felt great and kept going. Seeing him broke up that long straight stretch. Before I knew it, I was climbing the hill to the St John's bridge. Looking up river from the top, all I could see were dark clouds all the way to the finish. My clothing was plastered to me and it wasn't going to change any time soon!

The next best moment of the race was somewhere about mile 20. I was starting to struggle. I had a side stitch that would come and go. I was cold. And then, I heard my name in a voice I recognized. Liz! I gave her a hug and she asked if she could run with me. Like I would say no! I got a little emotional. That with the cold air started a mild asthma attack. Liz stayed with me then continued running along side. (I thought we would see Jeff, but he was unable to get there after mile 15 and the finish.) Her encouragement was so helpful. She just ran and told me I was sounding really relaxed. I cannot even express how much I appreciated her kind words and easy run. Someone I barely know was concerned about me and wanted me to succeed!

I was back on my own at the start of the downhill section. Even though it was tough, I still was passing people for a while. On the way back up at the Broadway bridge, I met a couple walking. They were cold and cramping, but laughing. They were going to walk the rest of the way, but they were going to finish. We laughed together about the absurdity of rain and wet feet.

After crossing the bridge, the finish line was getting close. But the wind picked up. At least I thought it was "wind." My wet clothing caused even the slightest breeze feel like a gale force wind. I would stop to walk for a minute and feel my lower body start to cramp. I told myself to just keep moving. I knew if I stopped, it would be so hard to start moving again. I ran more than I walked. That is always a good thing at the end of the marathon! One by one, I passed a people. I was focused. The 26 mile marker was in sight. I heard my name off to the side. Jeff was right there. I passed the 26th mile and saw more of my family. Just up the street and around one more corner to the finish line. I heard my name called as I crossed the line!

Volunteers surrounded the finishers with space blankets and medals were given. I had to ask the volunteer to put it around my neck and tie the corners of the blaket. I shuffled through the line, picking up food that I would not be able to eat. The biggest disappointment was the lack of chocolate milk. I had been looking forward to chocolate milk since mile 23. I accepted a lavender rose and smiled. I had completed a marathon in less than ideal circumstances. I can wear my finisher's shirt with pride.

I headed out to meet my family and wait for my nephew to finish. It was the first time I had watched others to finish. It was amazing! One man was running along side a woman. He pulled off to the side and she continued on toward the finish. He called out, "You can do it!" She had tears in her eyes. Another woman passed. She was running and in pain. But she finished. Then we saw my nephew. David sprained his ankle not long before the race and he struggled. But he was going to finish! Anyone who completes a marathon deserves bragging rights. But anyone who completes a marathon in pouring rain deserves some very special bragging rights!

Mile 15: Big smile when I saw Jeff!

Streams of runners in the rain

Almost to mile 26!

Wet! Wet! Wet!

Cori, Josiah and Jeff spent hours in the rain!

David coming to mile 26!

One of the results of running 26.2 miles in wet shoes

Rainy Marathon

2010-10-10T19:18:00.000-07:00

It was a tough, rewarding race. Every step was in rain with wet feet. Yet it was exhilerating. Full Race Report to come!

Overall: 3740 out of 7434
Women: 1585 out of 4132
F 40-44: 261 out of 651
Finish: 4:34:56 Pace: 10:30

Split Times:
10 Km: 1:02:01     Pace: 9:59
8.9 Mi: 1:26:05     Pace: 9:41
Half: 2:09:29         Pace: 9:53
17.5 Mi: 2:53:59   Pace: 9:57
20 Mi: 3:22:54      Pace: 10:09
21.1 Mi: 3:35:12   Pace: 10:12

Psalm 100

2010-10-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.

Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

I find it amazing how passages I loved become lost in my mind. Then suddenly it pops up at the exact moment that those words are needed. Only God knows my heart. Only He can bring the right words to me at the moment they are needed most!

Upside to a Rainy Marathon

2010-10-09T10:34:00.000-07:00

No danger of heat related injury
Extreme weight loss due to skin sloughing from chafing
Slower start due to frozen muscles
Quicker finish because I just want to get dry
More throw away clothing to be donated to the homeless
Fewer runners means more Ultima and Liquid Gold--blech, acutally not so positive
Fewer runners = smaller age groups = increased chance of 4+ hour marathoner winning prize (ie me!)
Fewer spectators to disturb my focus
Fewer runners to take spectators attention, so I get more cheers
When I finish a rainy marathon, I am truly studly!

Weather forecast for the Portland Marathon:

Showers. High near 64. West southwest wind between 9 and 13 mph. Chance of precipitation is 100%.

Sometimes when I run, I

2010-10-08T19:08:00.000-07:00

imagine I am running with Kara Goucher or Ryan Hall or Eric Liddell or ...
imagine my mom is running along side and talk to her
imagine I am winning a race or even just running one
obsess about where the next porta-potty is and it's condition when I arrive
pray and quote scripture
wish I were doing something else
wish I were able to keep running forever
count my cadence
dream about running in exotic places
cry or laugh out loud, sometimes both at the same time

Hat Tip: medievalistrunningincircles

Friday 5 with Bonus Pic!

2010-10-08T14:36:00.000-07:00

Five great things that happened today!

Waking up with a soft puppy curled up next to me!

Being greeted with a smile and "I love you" at work by the sweetest lady ever!

Being early at a race expo before everyone else gets there!

Sitting on the floor--comfortably!

Singing along to Big Daddy Weave at the top of my lungs!

Got my bib and I am ready to run on Sunday!

Unbelievable

2010-10-07T16:23:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe it! I am tired of eating. My stomach starts to feel a bit hungry and I sigh. I don't want to have to eat again. I miss the slightly hungry feeling. I have read a lot about eating during taper. Everything talks about not stuffing yourself, but not getting hungry. So I continue my small meals throughout the day which is normal for me. But I eat more often. I try make smart choices, after all, I just had 2 cups of green beans this afternoon. Sometimes I am tired of trying to take the time for something healthier. And sometimes the ice cream is calling my name. It gets lonley in the freezer next to the veggies! So, I comfort it with some quality time.

I forgot something on Monday. It was not only my birthday. It was also the second anniversary of reaching my goal weight! I lost nearly 60 pounds. Two years later, I am still within 3 pounds of that goal! One of my greatest anxieties was that I would gain all the weight back in only a few months. Now I know I can keep the weight off. It takes vigilance, but it isn't as hard as I thought it would be! I know that I can eat and eat and eat for a marathon. I know that after the marathon I can change my eating habits back to normal. I am indeed a success story.

Before and After Photos

Taper Positives

2010-10-06T14:19:00.000-07:00

Time to discover the positive side of tapering. It is a gorgeous day out and I would rather be running. Yet here I sit watching Little House on the Prairie and blogging. The number of blogs written during taper increases exponentially over peak marathon training weeks. After all, I have lots more time to write and think--and worry and eat and...

Menu Planning. I have more time for planning out meals during taper. Of course, part of that is because I think about food ALL the time--day and night. Dinner is planned for the rest of the week with meals best for carb loading.
Social Networking. In the last two weeks, I have spent more time on Facebook and the Loop than ever before. And that is saying something! Just think of all the people I can encourage that way!
Petting the dogs. After all, I am spending lots of time sitting. They love the extra attention!
Manicures. With all the extra time and anxiety, my nails are getting manicured regularly. Of course, I tend to pick at my nails when nervous so I don't know that I can really call it a "manicure."

Hmmm, I am going to have to keep thinking of positives! I am rested and ready to run. I am finally getting excited. I am feeling more confident. My plan is to have not real plan, but to relax and enjoy the run. Stay slow and easy to start and finish strong. Marathon minus 3 days...

Fartleks

2010-10-05T20:57:00.000-07:00

I love running fartleks almost as much as I like saying the word. Fartlek. It feels like something you shouldn't say. Something a 12 year old boy would love to shout. Today's run was 5 miles with 4x 3/2/1. My coach outlines the 3/2/1 as 3 min hard, 2 harder and 1 hardest with 1 min easy for recovery. To be honest, I felt a bit nauseous during the second set. I ended up doing the full 5 miles, but only 3 reps. I can live with that. Overall, the workout went really well. I held myself back on each rep and felt really strong. I recovered quickly and was able to press for the next fartlek.

When I got home, I downed some sports drink and chocolate millk. Then the beloved ice bath. Although the workout went well and wasn't that long and hard, this week every run gets one. It is marathon week after all. I won't take chances with recovery! Only 4 days to go!

8:23, 8:15, 7:12 (All Downhill)
8:34, 8:27, 7:33
8:37, 9:09, 8:41 (All Uphill)

It's My Birthday!

2010-10-04T18:29:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to me! I cannot believe I am 43. That always sounded old. Apparently, it isn't, because I am not old! I feel younger than I did in my 20s. I am in better shape. I am happier than ever. If this were old, I would take it. Moot point as I am not old.

Today has not been quite the clebration of last year when I ran 42k for my 42nd birthday. That was pretty amazing, but today has been great in it's own way. I was up at 7 for a massage then ran an easy 8 miles with my four pawed running partner. Then there was lunch out with my hubby and a walk downtown. We visited VooDoo Donuts and had a voodoo doll donut. Mmmmm! From there I stopped to see my running coach to talk about the marathon on Sunday--after all, it is all I think about right now...

Now just chillin' out my boys--Monday night football on the tube, a good book next to me and my computer. Life is truly GREAT!

Psalm 121

2010-10-03T15:39:00.000-07:00

A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem.

1 I look up to the mountains—

does my help come from there?

2 My help comes from the Lord,

who made heaven and earth!

3 He will not let you stumble;

the one who watches over you will not slumber.

4 Indeed, he who watches over Israel

never slumbers or sleeps.

5 The Lord himself watches over you!

The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.

6 The sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon at night.

7 The Lord keeps you from all harm

and watches over your life.

8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,

both now and forever.

This is what I need lately. The stress of life can be overwhelming, but I know that He keeps me from harm. He watches over every aspect of life.

Marathon Day -7

2010-10-02T19:53:00.000-07:00

Why is it when the training is done, one questions EVERYTHING? I walked into the garage this evening and a thought popped into my mind. "I feel so out of shape." Huh?! Where did that come from? Honestly, My upper body and core are not in the shape I would like. But my shoulder has limited many of my usual exercises. I have only missed 2 runs in the training cycle. Aerobically, I am in great shape. I have an extra year of running since my first marathon. That alone increases my fitness. Then there is the nutrition and hydration. Eating enough, but not too much and the right stuff. Drink lots of the "right" things. Don't drink too much of the other stuff. Rest, but not too much. Run, but not too much. Run fast, but not too fast.

I sit back with my feet up now. I breathe deep and try to calm my mind. I have trained well. I have put in the work. Now I have to trust that work. I need to remember that hard work pays off. Just breath in and out for 7 days. Nothing more than that.

Friday 5

2010-10-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

My original idea of this blog was to remember the good things in life. Lately I have been more negative than normal. I needed the reminder that I am blessed. Today I make a promise to myself to smile more and enjoy living. It is Friday, so I list 5 great blessings of my life.

My husband. He is amazing. Patient, kind and generous. He puts up with my idiosyncracies and actually seems to like some of them. The last 23 years have been incredible and I cannot wait to see what the next 23 bring!

My puppies. I may threaten trading them for goldfish, but I truly love them. They make be crazy. And they make me laugh. They have such different personalities! Indy is active and loves to be moving. He is my four-pawed running partner. He brightens every time I pull out my shoes. When runs get tough, he keeps me going. Han is the cuddler. He would rather be held than anything else. They each have their own piece of life to fill.

Running. I love running! I love the freedom I feel when I am out on the roads enjoying God's creation. Every step releases a bit of joy within me.

My family. They are the amazing. God chose to put me with this group for a purpose. There are days when I wonder why, but I love every one of them! When I married, I was fully accepted in another family. I am so loved and so blessed.

My greatest blessing is the love of God. He loves me so much that he chose to give his all for me. I cannot begin to share my gratefulness for his grace.

Tempo, Sweet Tempo

2010-09-30T14:03:00.000-07:00

Another day of late running. Hubby had a 7 am tee time, so I waited to run until he returned home. It was a gorgeous sunny day although warmer than I would have liked for a tempo run. After a mile warm up, I set into my pace. Or, oops, a little faster than planned. Yet the first mile has a bit of downhill, so I let it ride. It felt good, more than good. I was running faster than my 5k pace and felt almost easy. I kept reminding myself that it was downhill. Yet the uphill came and the pace stayed easy. Then down and up and down and up. My legs felt great even when my breathing was labored from the humidity. By the end of the fourth mile, fatigue had set in.

I love tempo runs. And this one is at the top of the list of all time favorites! I love the effort of pushing myself just to the edge. There is such a fine line between the balance of the comfortable with the hard. Finding that balance and using it to strengthen oneself is an amazing feeling of accomplishment!

8:26, 8:29, 8:23, 8:20

Burn the Ships!

2009-05-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

During yesterday’s long run, one of my favorite songs, Burn the Ships, played. As I have been quick to do lately, I compared the song to life especially weight loss and running. In the last year my life has changed drastically. I lost 60 pounds and started running again. The thing is that that isn’t what has really changed. The real me has changed. I no longer berate myself for being “fat and ugly.” I am no longer controlled by food. Now I am grateful for myself and appreciate the things I can do. I know that I can be successful; after all, I completed two very difficult tasks. In the 8 months since I reached my weight, I have maintained that loss and learned more and more about myself and my relationship with food. I recognize that food is fuel for body, not for comfort or when I am bored. Since I started the C25K a year ago, I have run in all conditions and in all moods. I have run in different states and I have raced longer and faster than in my 20s.

Going back to where I was a year ago is not an option. I burned my ships each and every day I learned something new about running or about nutrition. My ships went up in flames every time added a too large item of clothing into a box for Goodwill. I have nothing to go back to if I were to put weight back on. I cannot go back as God has given me the will and desire to change permanently.

Burn the Ships

Songwriters: Chapman, Steven Curtis; Elliott, James Isaac

In the spring of 1519 a Spanish fleet set sail
Cortez told his sailors this mission must not fail
On the eastern shore of Mexico they landed with great dreams
But the hardships of the new world make them restless and weak
Quietly they whispered, "Let's sail back to the life we knew"
But the one who led them there was saying

CHORUS
Burn the ships, we're here to stay
There's no way we could go back
Now that we've come this far by faith
Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return
Our life is here
So let the ships burn

In the spring of new beginnings a searching heart set sail
Looking for a new life and a love that would not fail
On the shores of grace and mercy we landed with great joy
But an enemy was waiting to steal, kill, and destroy
Quietly he whispers, "Go back to the life you know"
But the one who led us here is saying

(Chorus)

BRIDGE
Nobody said it would be easy
But the one who brought us here
Is never gonna leave us alone

(Chorus)

A Wonderful Afternoon

2008-10-24T22:09:00.000-07:00