Stressing

Okay. Tonight I am stressing. Not about the marathon. I have way too much to do before I get to stressing about that. Probably once I am away from the business... The thing is when one operates a 24/7 care home where you--as in me and the hubs--are on site--as in our home--all but about 24 hours of each week, it is hard to leave. There is so many lists of things that have to be done that my staff--who are fantastic--have no idea when and how. Not to brag, but I have a knack to get people with dementia to do what needs to be done with it appearing to be their idea. I call myself a master manipulator. If it needs to get done, I will find a way to convince my peeps to do it and laugh about it even if they hate every minute. (I really try to only use this skill on my residents...although, I have found me starting to try it on the hubs...that does not end well!)

 

Yet, here I type with a list a mile long before me. Must. Stop. Procrastinating.

Dreams Becoming Reality

"Stop dreaming and put it to reality!"

Coach Christina of PRS Fit

I got this text 2 weeks ago.  I was starting to freak out about the Phoenix Marathon coming up on March 2nd.  I texted my coach. "I think my fear comes from how big my goal is...I feel ready for a marathon, but scared to shoot for a fast one.  I guess I need a pep talk or a reality check..." Her response was perfect.  Exactly the pep talk I needed.  Seven words to make me realize I needed to keep dreaming.  And I needed to keep working to achieve that dream!

Over the last weeks, I have put in the work.  Between core work, upper body weights and functional strength, I am stronger than ever before.  Every run had a purpose. There were zone 2 runs with surges, step up runs, fartleks and race pace runs.  I ran both slower and faster than I thought myself capable.

The scariest run was a week ago.  My last long run was 18 miles with 13 at race pace.  Let me tell you that talking about running a Boston qualifier at a 3:55 doesn't sound that hard.  However, when I figure that is an 8:59 pace over 26.2 miles, I get scared. This is a BIG, FREAKING GOAL.  Yet, at the same time, aren't goals supposed to be scary?  If a goal is an easy thing to accomplish, why even set one.  So this time I set a BFG.  No more of the "I think I can" or "I'll try" then giving in the last miles. No more letting the doubts creep in and letting my mind loose focus.

I love the marathon.  I love the pain of running long.  And running a marathon in 4:30 is not that big of a challenge for me anymore.  I want more. So, here it is, in black and white.  I am shooting for a 3:54:59 at the Phoenix marathon in 7 days. I do have this in me.  I can run through the doubt and fear.  I can run through the fatigue.  I can run through the pain.  And I can do all this while running fast!

Seven days and counting.