Sunday, August 31, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I am blessed amazing support. My husband has supported me every step of the way. He isn’t effusive with praise or advice. He will offer advice or direction when asked, but doesn’t offer it. I can talk about an issue or a problem and he doesn’t try to fix it. A lesson learned over the years. When I am told what I should do, I tend to do the opposite. I also have fantastic support from two of my sisters. Although both were skeptical of Medifast, they supported my decision. During my journey, they have cheered for me and with me. I know that I can tell them anything and they will not judge me. If I am headed down the wrong path, they will “speak the truth in love.” (Ephesians 4:13) If they are pleased with an outcome, they will not hesitate to say that.
The last few days, I have wondered if that support is enough. As I get closer to my goal and look toward transitioning my diet, I wondered if I needed more support with the knowledge of Medifast and the nuances of transition and maintenance. I came to the conclusion that having a diet coach could really offer me the support I need with the niggling questions that arise. I decided that having someone other than family could be very helpful in the days ahead. So, now I have an “official” diet coach, in additions to the amazing support I receive from those I love.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
The third conclusion I came to makes no sense in a logical way. However, it makes great sense to my deluded thinking. Here goes: Eating too much is BAD; therefore, eating is BAD. When I eat really fast I am BAD for a shorter amount of time before I can be good again. Whew! Even writing that down is weird. This kind of thinking is what sent me into clinical depression nearly 15 years ago. These thinking patterns are formed for illogical and emotional purposes and follow us into every aspect of our lives. Hopefully, by recognizing the flaw in the reasoning, I can change my thinking.
I just sit here looking at what I have written and it strikes me how many areas of my life have been affected by past experiences. Even how I eat is affected by a situation that had nothing to do with food, but changed my psyche to believe that I was bad and needed to do everything I could to be good. How sad to live my life like that. How sad to waste years believing that. It is time to change my attitude about eating. Eating is a good and healthy thing. If I eat too much, I am not bad. My next meal is in 30 minutes. I will sit down with no distractions and eat slowly and mindfully. With each bite, I will remind myself that eating is good and healthy. I will give myself credit for each bite I think enjoy. I will do this every meal until it becomes second nature and I do not have to consciously think about it anymore.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Fortunately, over the years, I have passed that strong guilt. However, sometimes it still creeps into my mind and causes me to doubt myself. I always wondered at what point does being proud of myself for accomplishing something and sharing it become bragging. I figure that bragging has an arrogance to it that reveling in one’s accomplishments doesn’t have. Bragging to me is taunting—saying, “Look what I did and you can’t do it!”
So, starting today, I will give myself credit for the things I accomplish without guilt. I will allow myself to feel pride when I finish what I set out to do. Not because I think someone else cannot, but because I did. By giving myself credit, I will build my self confidence and reinforce my self control. Each time I tell myself that I did a good job, I remind myself that I can achieve my goals. This type of positive self talk is not new to me; I have practiced it in the past and have improved. It is easy to get out of the habit though and revert back to chiding myself for not doing something perfect.
I need to remind myself to congratulate myself like I would a friend. When a friend has a rocky spot, I don’t say, “That was stupid. You can’t do anything right.” Yet that is how I treat myself. Instead, I would tell my friend, “Okay, so you stumbled. You can do this. Learn from it, get back up and try again.” I am kind to a friend and I need to be as kind to myself. When a friend does something great, I would give them a hug and tell them how proud I was of the accomplishment. I must realize that it is important to do the same for myself. I need to practice it until it is automatic. I need to keep doing it until it happens without me realizing that I gave myself credit. Doing this will not only make dieting and maintenance easier, it will make everyday life easier. I will be willing to try something new, because I won’t degrade myself if I am not perfect. I can do this and I will do this. Right now, I give myself credit for taking the time to write out my thoughts and share them with others. There—that wasn’t so hard.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Think about all the opportunities I have to eat standing up. There are samples in the grocery store, snacking while cooking, parties, etc. That is a lot of opportunity to put calories in my mouth without being mindful of what I am actually eating. BLTs (bites, licks, tastes) happen most when I am standing. What I am learning is that it all matters. Every BLT has calories and the potential to sabotage my success.
Normally when I eat standing up it is impulsive eating. “Just one quick bite and then I will do something else.” It never occurred to me before that this thought process sabotaged my efforts at losing weight. When I eat sitting down, it signifies to me that I am planning to eat and I have a plan about what I am going to eat. Sitting during eating implies that I made a choice to eat. Seeing the food spread in front of me gives a satisfaction of seeing what I am about to eat and in turn I feel more satisfied. If I am standing as I eat, I do not see the amount of food I am eating and do not feel as satisfied as I do not feel I have eaten as much even if I have eaten the same amount or more.
By making this a lifelong habit, I can continue to be aware of what I am eating and not add extra calories in here and there. This is one more step on the journey to mindful eating. I will always need to be aware of how I fuel my body or I will be back where I started.
I will work on making it a habit to sit down every time I eat. When I am walking through Costco and the samples are on every side, I will have to think before I try one. I will need to decide if I really want to have the bite and where am I going to sit to eat it. That may seem far fetched, but the more I consider it, the more I believe that this is an important step in changing my attitude toward food for my lifetime.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Specific diets weren’t discussed, but several were mentioned in passing during our session. Let me share some of the reasons I choose Medifast over other diets. I wanted something that didn’t offer me a lot of confusing choices. I needed something simple. I don’t have the focus or time to plan for weeks at a time and study everything I put in my mouth. I had success a few years ago losing some weight by eating three smaller meals a day with 2 snacks. I enjoyed that because I never felt hungry. There were two coworkers about 5 years ago that were on Medifast. Both lost a significant amount of weight in a short time. At the time, I thought it was a poor choice with the very low calories and few choices for food. After further research into Medifast, I realized it is a well balanced, sound diet plan even with the very low calories. I decided that it was the diet that would help me succeed. And it has, far beyond my wildest expectations!
On a side not, the one coworker I saw recently had regained the weight and more. It is a scary thought to me, but I will learn from her. She did not follow the transition guide and slowly reintroduce other foods into her diet. When she reached her goal, she was done with “dieting” and went back to her previous eating habits. I believe that following the transition and maintenance guide is crucial to success.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Advantage Response Card (ARC)
Now is the time to put into words why am I doing taking this journey into weight loss. Time to explain to myself why I want to make a change. List the reasons that I want to lose weight—the reasons I want to be thin. The list may be long or short. It may not make sense to everyone. It is my list and my motivations. By creating a list of my reasons and motivations, I remind myself why I am doing this. Not for others, but for myself. I will read these at least twice daily. I will post them where I cannot go through my daily routine without seeing them. These are the reasons I am traveling this path.
- To Honor God in ALL that I do—I am not honoring Him with my choices, with my body. I am a glutton and I will change that.
- To be in control of myself and my actions—By controlling myself, I give God the glory for the blessings He has given me. This way others can see a change in me and I can share the true reason that I can change.
- To be comfortable with myself and doing the things I enjoy—I love to sit on the floor; I love to play with my dogs and my nieces and nephews. I love to be outdoors and active. Being thin will allow me to do those things I love and be comfortable doing them.
- To feel confident & less inhibited about doing every day activities and trying new things—I will not allow myself to not do something because of my weight.
- To recognize my own success—I want to succeed. I want to be able to look at myself and be proud of what I accomplished.
- To age healthy and enjoy it—In caring for seniors, I see the worst that can happen. I want better for myself. Being at a healthy weight can help make that happen.
- To feel pretty—Maybe it is shallow, but I want to feel pretty. I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see.
My list of reasons may grow and change, but for now this is it. These are the reasons I have made the choice to lose weight. And these are the reasons I will succeed.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
There are two muscles to exercise—the resistance muscle and the giving-in muscle. As with all muscles the one I exercise most becomes the strongest. Each time I resist I prepare myself to resist more easily the next time. Each time I give in I make it easier to give in the next time. To learn to maintain my weight I must continue to exercise my resistance muscles. The stronger they become throughout the weight loss process, the better I will be able to resist temptation and regain the weight.
When moving from a trigger to eating, there are 4 steps. First is the trigger—what is it that causes me to want to eat. Then is the thought—that looks good or I really want that. Next is the decision—do I eat it or not. Last is the act that results from the decision. In every encounter, there is a decision. In every encounter, there is a choice. That is the moment that control happens. That decision is mine and mine alone. No one can make the choice for me. A choice must be made before the action. The action in turn strengthens either my resistance muscle or my giving-in muscle. The decision is mine.
A brand new concept for me—there is a difference between actual hunger and a desire to eat. Huh? Not really, if I want to eat, I must be hungry, right? No. Just because I want to eat does not mean I am hungry. Again I can make a choice to eat or not to eat. I just need to listen to my body and decide if the feeling is actual hunger or another need that I am trying to fill. Then choose accordingly.
Over and over it is reiterated that it is a choice. The decisions I make will define me in the long term. The decisions I make at this moment will define my success in maintaining my weight loss. This is an amazing journey, but I do not want to travel this road again.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
I, who am notorious for starting something and not finishing, am finishing what I set out to do and succeeding at it. I have made conscious decisions to go off plan on vacations or special events. But I thought through the consequenses of each decision and how I was going to get back On Plan. Letting myself be flexible has been key for me. When I say "I can't do that," I want toeven more. If I say "I can if I really want to," I can let it go. I have learned so much about myself and will continue to learn as I get to goal and move into transition and maintenence. I do know above all is that I did not do this alone. God blessed me with the grace to see this through. And He blessed me with angels to help me along the way--friends and family.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Pen Pals--Rachel & Me
Sarah had made arrangements for a little pampering. The flower girl loved the pedicure and manicure. The Mother of the Bride enjoyed it, too. It's just that she's sensitive about getting her feet touched. At least she didn't kick the technician. It was fun to watch her turn red and laugh.
Jeff & I took a little time out for a date on Friday evening. We played a round of Mini Golf, had dinner and took a walk in the hills. Jeff did get a Hole-in-One on that shot throught the skull's mouth.
The last night we went up in the hills around Janelle and Ralph's and watched the sunset.
Jeff rode a custom beach bike made by Janelle's nephew--Troy and Sylvia's son.
All in all, a very good day!