Monday, September 22, 2008
I have been dreading going up to see my mom's grave lately. I head out of the house, but just couldn't get myself to go. It is only a few miles, but I haven't been there is a while. I used to drive past the cemetery twice daily the first year after she passed. Now it is so hard to go. I miss her so much. She was one of my very best friends. She would be so proud of me. In the last four years, I was promoted to Administrator of an assisted living, left that position and worked for a hospice company. Then DH & I started our own business and now I have lost more that 50 pounds. She would be so proud because I am happy with where I am and who I am. I just wish I could tell her. Tonight I did tell her. I made myself get in my car and drive up to see her. I am so glad I finally did that. I feel better having done that. I smiled tonight through my tears because I know she isn’t really there. She is in a better place. A place where there is no pain and God wipes away all tears. Sometimes I just wish she were still here where I could see her and talk to her. But I can never ask her to return of the pain of this world. For now, until I can see her again, a visit to the cemetery will have to do. She wouldn’t mind as long as I am happy and doing right.