Saturday, June 21, 2008

Way Back When...

All the way back in high school (22 years ago), I thought I was so fat. I was surrounded by super skinny friends. I played sports and walked a lot on our family's 32 acres. I had a really hard time getting clothes to fit since I had a tiny waist and big hips. Mom made nearly all my clothes and I wan't into fashion much. I'd rather be reading or outside. The point of this is that I weighed only 130 pounds then. But my perspective of myself was distorted. I placed all my worth on what I thought others thought of me.

Over the years, I wasn't able to change that perception. I was a perfectionist who would not be satisfied with anything I did unless it was exactly the way I believed it should be. And with that, my weight continued to rise. After all, if I could not get it all off and look exactly like the "perfect" body type, why should I even try. I knew I would fail. And by knowing that, I would have set myself up for failure.

Before I started MF or any other diet program, I had to change my view of myself. I needed to see that the way others perceive me means nothing. Only God's perception of me made any difference. He was the only one that I need to please. And He doesn't care if something is perfect. He just wants me to use every talent and skill that he gave me to do what is right. So, here I am, on MF and losing weight. I am not doing this for anyone else or even for myself. I am doing it for God simply because it is right and He wants only the very best for me.

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